The First Two Weeks

I have just completed my first two weeks of college! Yes friends and neighbors that's right..I am matriculating my little southern butt off. And I have to tell you that I LOVE IT!


Yes I know its only been a couple of weeks..But so far I am really enjoying the entire experience. I also think that while a lot of people might not have understood my reluctance to start college right after graduation..I think because I waited I am now really prepared and ready for what comes next. Unlike a few of my new classmates who seem to be dragging into class each day....unprepared and unenthusiastic about being there. I on the other hand have kicked into over achiever mode..and have found myself doing assignments early just to stay ahead of things. If you want me to be honest..there was at time not so long ago that I would have hated the kid like me in class. But what can I say..I'm happy to be there and it shows.

So would you like to know what I have discovered in my first two weeks of higher learning...


First ~

Ladies drink free! Yes I know....I was shocked too!! But apparently this is not only common but something well advertised on college campuses. I myself received at least a dozen flyer's on my very first day. Each one inviting me to club openings and organizations recruiting new members....all emphasizing the fact that ladies drink free.

I later discovered that this wasn't because as a female I am any better than my male counter parts. Apparently this is just a very calculated ploy to get young men to come these events. You see, young men seem to look for chances to meet young women...And since men usually spend far more money on alcohol than women do and semi intoxicated women are much friendlier to be around...(go figure) They encourage young women to attend these social events by letting them obtain their adult beverages for free. Very clever.


Second~

I have discovered..that I have a need to be agreed with. Yes I know this one was another shocker for me. I had this revelation when completing an assignment for my college studies class. I being the eager freshman that I am, put a great deal of thought into my opinions used for this paper. I sat and chose my words to support my arguments carefully....I skillfully wrote my paper and was very pleased with the way it turned out. As it so happens, my professor liked it too because I received an A+ for my efforts. You would think that I would be happy wouldn't you? Not so...

In the margin of my paper my professor had written a paragraph or so telling me that while my paper was well written...he didn't agree with my opinions. That there were many out there who were of the same mind as I was and would agree with my thinking....but he was not one of them.

WHAT!

What does he mean he doesn't agree with me? How could he not after reading what could only be considered one of my best researched and well written works. Does this man understand what this means? Does he even know who hes dealing with? I think not!

I would like to say that I have since gotten over this....but the truth is I have not. I have also noticed that I and about four other students regularly get comments in the margins of our papers. In fact I will go as far as to say that it happens with pretty much every assignment given. I had thought that maybe I was being singled out at first. Possibly this professor didn't care for me for some unknown reason. I quickly crossed that off my list..since as you well know by now..I'm extremely sweet. So not liking me wasn't it. Besides that..I continue to make A's on all my assignments.


So what is up with all the comments? Is he just one of those individuals who is never completely satisfied? Could he be the type who just feels the need to get in the last word? Why have they given this man a red pen?


These questions are just a few of the many I hope to have answered in the next few months. I have high hopes to have this professor straightened out completely before its all over. You know me..its only a matter of time..they all see the light eventually.

Did I mention that I love college? *smile*

Dont Drink The Water

I have been sitting here in relative safety watching from a distance as one after another of my friends and peers becomes engaged / married or learns they are expecting a child. Now these aren't things that are really all that unexpected. I mean that is part of life...people do eventually get married..they do start families. Its the normal course of things isn't it?

However lately....it seems as though that trend, at least with my peer group, has picked up speed. It seems as though a huge number of people that I personally associate with have decided to fall on their swords and make those sort of big life altering changes.

I'm not sure whats prompted all this activity. I had considered the possibilities of the full moon. Or maybe the time of the year, sort of a spring fever. Maybe its an age thing. Do you hit a certain point in development and your body automatically tells you its time to mate and reproduce?

Now please don't misunderstand me....I'm not putting down their choices. I just realize that at this point in my life its not for me. I do admittedly at some point want to marry. I suppose I would even like to have the chance to screw up a child of my own some day. But I just realize that right now, there are things personally that I need to accomplish before I can be part of a married couple.

I think one of the strongest things about a married couple is their individuality. Each person needs to be a whole person when entering the couple relationship. I don't think you should enter a relationship expecting the other person to sustain you. While love, commitment, compatibility, values, goals are important factors to making a successful couple. Its important that each person is also able to be independent of each other too.

I see a lot of my friends making this fatal mistake over and over again. They become a couple and then expect the girlfriend or boyfriend to give up everything they were before the relationship and morph into this attached at the hip, can not breath their own air new person. Who cant be happy unless they are in the couple environment. I have never understood why they would even want to do this.

Personally, I want to bring something with me when I enter a relationship. I want to have something to contribute and offer. I want to be able to help build the life I will share with the guy who decides to put up with me. He will have to be able accept my flaws as well as my strengths. The same way I will accept his. I don't want a guy I have to change to make him fit me as part of a couple. I want to like him and respect him long before I fall in love with him or I agree to marry him.

Because lets face it...if you cant respect and admire the other persons values, goals and thinking as an individual...Do you really think that becoming a couple will change any of these things?? Big mistake if you do.

I realize nothing is written in stone. If the right person asked me....who knows what I would do. But I think before I strap on the white dress and march down the isle. I think Ill get my education out of the way first. I want to be more of the person I need to be before taking on the challenges of a married person.

Until then I wont worry about whats caused this exodus of my friends to the next steps in life.....I will just sit back and watch the parade of peers taking the plunge. I will even smile and waive and wish them well as they pass by. As for me, I will continue to focus on the task ahead of me.....getting my education.

But just in case, to be on the safe side....I wont be drinking the water here either.

The Destination or The Journey?

Which is more significant to a persons life...the destination or the journey? I think maybe sometimes we become so focused on reaching our ultimate goal that we forget to learn from the people and steps we have to take along the way. When finally reaching the end of the road to our goal... sometimes we discover that the place we looked to for our success doesn't bring us the satisfaction or happiness we thought we would find there.

I have had to think a lot about what I want out of my life lately. I am at a place that I am making a lot of choices. I wont try and make it sound as though my choices are any more difficult or different than the average persons. They aren't. In fact I suppose maybe to someone else they probably seem pretty insignificant. Day to day I think probably most of us have a more narrow view of the world and tend to focus on the things that affect us personally as most the important. That's pretty human.

But even though I am just beginning, I know that this isn't a dress rehearsal. This..today is life. My life. And each day is one day that is gone and I wont get back again. I am realizing that its not as important where I end up so much, as it is that I become a better person along the way. That I take something from the people I meet and the things I experience and make myself better for having done so.

I cant say that everything so far has turned out the way I wanted or hoped it would. But I will say that when I think about it..I'm lucky that I have had the chance to love the people Ive loved and lucky for those who have loved me back. (no matter what a pain in the ass I am at times) I am lucky to have a family who cares for me. Even the mistakes I have made and the disappointments have their place in the person I am now becoming. I know I have a choice. Do I become stronger from the falls I take or do I let them keep me down?

Ultimately I know the only thing I have control over in this world is me. Realizing that brings a sort of peace. It doesn't mean I stop trying. In fact just the opposite..I plan to go out into the world and kick butt.

I just want to make sure I also go out and live, love and fully experience life while I do. In doing so..no matter where I end up...It will have all been worth it.

Need Directions?...Google It

I had someone send this to me the other day and when I actually did it I had to laugh. I hope maybe it will bring one to you as well. Follow the directions.....

• Go to Google.com
• Click on Maps
• Click on Get Directions
• Type in From: New York New York
• Type in To: Paris France
• Then read line #24

Those Google people dont miss a thing do they? LOL

Ready To Matriculate

You can lead a blond to knowledge but you cant make her think.

Yes..I know that was really bad. But still appropriate in this case. Its taken me some time to get to this point. I have no problem with going to college. In fact I think if you want to go and you have the chance to go....you should take advantage of it. But that doesn't mean its for everyone.

I just don't think you should go just so you are able to say you went. Or because others "strongly suggest" that you go. I think those are all the wrong reasons. You go because you have a desire to learn something. Because you think the experience will improve your life in someway.

I have watched a lot of my peers get on the college bound train...only to drop out later realising it wasn't for them. Or float aimlessly through it, not really getting anything from it....except for the knowledge of how to play beer pong or other assorted drinking games.

Not that I'm putting down the socialization part of the college experience, I'm not. I have a great many friends doing the whole matriculation thing now and loving it. I have spent enough time with them at their college apartments or on campus to know that I would probably fit in with the social aspect of it and enjoy it.

But there is more to it than that..or at least their should be. I guess its just taken me this long to decide that the time was right for me. So my friends I have officially submitted my application...and am working on the next steps toward my goal. And for the first time in a long while I am actually excited. I really feel like this is the right thing for me.

I feel hopeful, confident and ready to do this.

Change

Anyone who's read this blog before or who knows me, knows I love poker. I love everything about it. I love sitting at a table with a few friends laughing and swapping a few lies. I love drinking an ice cold beer or some other beverage and munching on some salty snack food. I love sitting there looking like the young, blond, 5 feet 2 inches kid and innocently staring down all those big old guys and bluffing them out of their hard earned cash. YES I LOVE POKER.

I haven't played poker in a while or done a lot of the old things I used to enjoy. I have been letting things going on in my life take all my focus and keep me tied up in knots. To the point I think I had almost forgotten what it was like to be the old me. And you know what? I missed the old me. I missed her a lot!

This finally clicked once and for all in my brain when I had a long talk with a really good friend of mine. He is one of those kind of people that never cuts me any slack. He tells me exactly the way it is no matter if I want to hear it or not. Which is exactly what he did last night. Which is exactly what I needed to hear.

It was sort of weird. Because he didn't really tell me anything that I didn't already know. But when I heard him saying it, I finally saw it the way it was. By stressing and obsessing the way I have been I was changing who I am. I also realized I didn't like the person that I became while doing that.

After that talk..I felt better for the first time in a while. I felt like I had a new perspective on things. I felt my confidence coming back to me. I felt like I should look forward to the things a head of me.

Later that night when I got the invitation to go out and play poker with a few friends, I went. It wasn't a big game...just five of us. I walked in the door and told them all up front I only had $3 dollars in my pocket. Yeah I know, $3 dollars doesnt sound like someone who's really prepared to play poker. To be honest I have been pretty broke lately too...which has also added to my poor frame of mind. But I figured Id play a few hands with my friends and then sit and socialize once the money was gone.

They were playing a quarters game of Texas Hold um. So even my three measly dollars didn't seem to phase them. They told me to pull up a chair and anti up. I admit...the first few hands I barely broke even. Then the next few, I didn't do well at all and lost everything I had, including the $3 dollars I had showed up with.

This however didn't get me out of the game. My friends decided they would spot me about $10 dollars of quarters so that I could continue to play on. I was having a good time and I figured I had a little money in my secret stash at home that I had been saving for something else. So I agreed.

By the end of the night, the pile of silver sitting in front of me was considerable. It was down to three of us. One of the guys feeling like luck was moving in his direction decides he wants to up the stakes. He increases the anti. When it comes around the table to me...I sat there with my patented undecided look on my face...."Gee I don't know...aah well OK...I guess Ill stay and see what the cards do".

The pot keeps growing...My friend who felt luck was going to be his friend is now getting excited. He thinks hes got this one all tied up. Hes going to clean the table of this pot and then call it a night.

When it finally comes down to the last cards...hes got two pair. Don't get me wrong it wasn't a bad hand....But the last time I checked...two pair doesn't beat a straight. Which is what I was holding.

I laid my straight down on the table in front of him....and watched his face as I pulled ALL that money to my side of the table. He said "Damn it Jennifer, I thought you didn't have anything". I just smiled and said "Yes I know". His brother in law who was sitting on the other side of me is now dying laughing. I'm just sitting there grinning.

By the end of the evening.. they let me cash in all my silver for paper money. After paying back the $10 I was spotted earlier in the evening and then subtracting the original $3 I showed up with. I was coming home with an extra $60 dollars of someone elses money in my pocket.

This morning I woke up feeling hopeful....like maybe things are going to change for me. I feel like I'm going to make them change by moving forward. No it wasn't the poker game that did it. But the game did remind me of the old me...I missed her. I'm glad shes coming back.

Majority Rules

Maybe my thinking is naive or idealistic. But it is what I believe

I don't think any system of government is perfect. I believe that most have their flaws that need to be worked out and adjusted as time goes on and the country and its people evolve and grow. But I also believe in this country it is a mistake to look away from the basic beliefs and principals that our country was founded on.

History tells us that our founding fathers were not perfect men. In fact on a personal level many were far from it. But there is one thing you can say about them that holds true today. They had a vision. They had the courage and fortitude to implement that vision. They sat down and drafted a document that was the foundation for this country and it remains so today. Considering how long we have been in business you have to admit they were on to something.

The country was founded with basic Christian principles. But it allowed for the freedom to have other beliefs and worship. Even though the vast majority of its citizens all held the same beliefs.

It was founded on the idea that everyone had a right to speak. Yes most were of the same political and social thinking....But it allowed for that free dialogue that gave people a chance to voice new ideas, concerns and even make changes without fear of retribution.

I suppose anyone reading this right now is thinking...YES...and your point?

My point is...this is what the country is all about. Its what it has been about since its conception. So why do we keep allowing others to try and make us into a people of politically correct accommodation?

Those of other faiths...we welcome you regardless if your beliefs differ from ours. We are glad to let you share in the freedom of worship that our country provides. But understand the majority of its people are of the christian faith. You can not expect or ask an entire nation to change its values to accommodate you. Here majority rules. If you feel this is an unfair practice. You may attempt to change it with a vote. That is our way too.

Those of you who live in fear of those who possess guns. The founding fathers gave us the privilege and right to bear arms. Yes that privilege has been abused by some with tragic consequences. But in this country the majority of our citizens are decent and law abiding. You can not punish the innocent in a hope of stopping a few that will be guilty. Here again majority rules.

Every country needs to grow and change. But it is wrong to try and change what isn't broken for the majority of its citizens because of a few. Here in our country, each vote counts. Each individual can still speak out and together the sum total of voices equal majority rules.

Do not think to make our choices for us. The majority still want the freedom to do that for ourselves.

Theres Always Plan B

Have you ever wondered how much you as in individual matter in this world? I have. Especially lately.

I was watching a commercial on TV...Don't ask me what they were selling...I couldn't tell you. It was some sort of insurance I think. I suppose in that regard the commercial failed miserably as a commercial since I cant recall the company it was for. But it did catch my eye for another reason. It was one of those pay it forward type ideas.

It showed an individual who stops for no other reason than just because they can..and helped another person. It was a simple thing...not a cure for cancer or the answers to hunger or world peace. Just a simple act of kindness from one person to another. That act was then observed unknowingly by a third individual who stopped, paused and thought about what he had just seen. The commercial goes on with this ripple effect...The third individual does a small act of kindness that gets passed on because its affects another person and so on.

So this gets me thinking. I wonder how my life effects those around me. Do I have any impact on those people I come in contact with on a daily basis? What about those who I only touch for the briefest of moments?

Id like to think that maybe I could be the kind of person one day that could be something positive in another persons life. I doubt I will ever be anyone who does anything so profound as finding a cure for a disease or the answers to any real world problems. But Id like to think that one day I can become a good enough person that my actions...even the small ones would be a good influence on others around me.

There seem to be all kinds of successes in this world. There are the creators of the world...and the things we have in it. The ones who have great influence over economy, people, politics. There are those who do great humanitarian acts, find cures for disease and work on a global level to cure the world of its ills. Then there are those who appear successful just by the simple act of being in the public eye repeatedly. I don't know if fame is a true success.. I suppose that depends on the stick you measure it by.

I don't see myself as ever falling into any of the above categories. I'm not sure I would want to. But I think that there are more basic ways of being a success. And even though those might not be noticed or measured..they are every bit as important in the big scheme of things. I may not be that kind of person yet. But I could be. I mean I still have a lot of choices a head of me don't I?

My Great Grandmother used to say take life with a grain of salt....My great Uncle would say add a slice of lime and a shot of tequila to that. *smile*

But someone recently gave me some pretty simple but none the less good advise....He told me to stop beating up on myself, don't over analyse and do what I needed to do for me. He could be right. Who knows, maybe everything else might start to fall into place.

If not..there is always plan B...... that slice of lime and that shot of tequila...

No Apologies

We live in the 21st Century. I would like to believe that in this day and time NO ONE thinks slavery was a good idea. Which is why I believe it doesn't exist any longer. It was abolished.

Abolish- To do away with; to repeal; to obliterate.

Which in the most simple terms means its gone...Its not coming back. So I have to say it bothers me that something that was clearly thought to be a bad idea and done away with a very long time ago is still an issue.

Could someone please explain to me why legislators from states such as Alabama, Virginia, Maryland and North Carolina are all writing legislation to officially express regret and apologise for their states involvement in slavery? Are they serious?

I am a 20 year old living in the south. I wasn't around during the time of slavery. I never personally kept a slave. Nor did I promote those who did. I have never profited in anyway from slave labor. In fact....I can pretty much assure you that if there was any sort of slave labor around our home while I was growing up...I WAS IT.

So to me the idea that ANYONE now owes an apology at this point for something that happened two hundred or so years ago is totally ridiculous. Not only that, but I am completely tired of hearing how every bad thing that happens is directly related to the raw deal their ancestors got.

If you are a person living in this country for several generations now.....No matter how you got here or where your ancestors came from there is one thing for certain.....YOU ARE AN AMERICAN!!

You are an American with all the freedoms and privileges given to you by our constitution and laws of this country. Just like every other American. You are not the only group that has been wronged in our nations history or has had its share of struggles.

If you feel that being denied this apology is about a of lack of respect for you. I would like offer a thought.....If you desire respect...look closer to home. I heard someone say that "We can not expect others to respect us if we first don't show respect for ourselves". I think that's pretty true and good advise no matter what race, religion or gender you are.

There is a trend to promote music, movies and a culture that demeans women, race, religion and a respect for the law. This is done for no other reason than for monetary profit. Today we have more respect for the dollar than we have for people. And it doesn't seem to matter how much we have to degrade ourselves, our standards and values to achieve it.

An apology is not your problem here....You have much bigger concerns than that. You're culture is deteriorating right before your eyes. And you are allowing it.

However if you still want an apology for slavery and feel you can get it from someone who actually committed this crime...then I say go for it. But I have a feeling that most who participated in this act are long since gone.

So I have to ask..Wouldn't the time be better spent looking at how to make the future better rather than looking for someone to take blame for the past?

Innocent Until Proven Guilty...

Innocent until proven guilty has left the building. Or at least its on its way out because of a lot of different circumstances in our country. I realize that with the tragic events that have occurred at places such as Virginia Tech and Columbine people want the powers that be to do something...anything to make them feel safer and protected while in public places.

But can this really be done? I have to ask myself are the freedoms we give up really a good trade for the false feeling of security we will get for them? How many metal detectors do we walk through? How many forms and background checks do we go through before we are deemed safe and law abiding?

Do all these new laws and restrictions really keep us safer? Because in my way of thinking the only people who really follow these rules are the ones who are law abiding to begin with. Criminals and crazies usually step outside the box when it comes to things like this.

We have adopted a VERY unhealthy attitude toward the politically correct. We are so worried that we are going to offend some group that we are giving up many of our own rights to prevent this from happening. As we bend over backwards, we are saying by our actions that we are unable to determine who is criminal and crazy...And if we do suspect, our own fear of political incorrectness makes us unwilling to step up and point them out. Therefore for safety's sake we will have to restrict everyone.

Some will say that all these new restrictions are an acceptable trade off to know that they are safer when flying or going to school or entering a building.. etc. But I think its a slippery slope we need to think over carefully before signing off on it.

Maybe its old school thinking on my part. It just seems it could be a dangerous trade off, because to me freedoms aren't usually lost in big pieces at a time..They are eroded away little by little. So slowly and so subtly that we don't even notice, so we tell ourselves that its just normal.

If we are innocent until proven guilty shouldn't we be allowed to live as if we are?


Please check out exmi's blog post Unusual Allies to see what set me off today.

Virginia Tech

Normally I don't blog about things like this. But just like a lot of other people in our country, I'm watching the students, faculty and families of Virginia Tech try and cope with the tragic events that occurred on Monday of this week.

Anytime you hear about something like this...Its hard not to be stunned and horrified by it. But I will be honest with you.....In the past, even though I may think to myself that its awful and I truly feel sorry for the people involved. I also to some degree detach from it. Its something that has happened in another place to strangers and doesn't affect me personally.

I am not trying to excuse my behavior on this...But lets face it, we are bombarded with stories of murder, death, starvation, abuse and a thousand other similar occurrences every single day in the news we read, the radio we listen to and the TV we watch. How many of us take each victim or story to heart?

But this time, for me at least its different. I have been watching these people. I have seen their fear...watched them grieve, seen their confusion and frustration that this has happened at all...let alone happened to them.

This one bothers me....because when I look at their faces...I see my friends. I see myself. I am the same age as most of these people who died. I live in a small community who is to some degree close knit. I see them and think of my home...my friends and my family. This one bothers me a lot.

I see the photos of the man who did this. He looked so normal. Just another average 23 year old student. If I had passed him on the street would I have noticed anything about him that made me pause? While there is a lot of speculation and things coming to light right now as to why he choose to do this to these innocent people and then to himself.. I can't even begin to imagine what kind of dark place you would have to be in to actually do it?

I admire these people of Virginia Tech. I have watched them tell their stories and not once have I heard anyone speak in anger. If anyone has a reason to feel anger right now...it would be those whose loss was so great. But what I do get from them is immense sadness, disbelief and a camaraderie of people pulling together to support each other in a time of need. I see that thing in them that gives you hope that human beings are still indeed worth something.

To the students and families of Blacksburg Virginia and Virginia Tech my heart goes out to you. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Feeling Invisable

I woke up this morning around 5:30 to the sound of pouring rain. Normally I love the sound of a storm. Especially when I can lay in bed and listen to it outside. Its the perfect time to think and day dream. But this morning I don't want to have to think anymore and my day dreams are pretty much history.

Ive been feeling sort of invisible lately. As if I'm viewed but not seen...heard but not listened to. It seems that everyone in the world....especially those closest to me (family and friends) seem to have an opinion about what I need to be doing with my life and how I should be doing it.

After the initial irritation I feel subsides...I try and remember that this is coming from a good place. That these people truly do care for me and care what happens to me. They mean well and they're advise and opinions have good intentions behind them. But I have to wonder, how they can know what I need and want when I don't even know myself.

Some of my friends think I need a love life to solve my problems. Trust me..been there tried that. I cant make one work. Besides...to me you're heart isn't interchangeable.....You either really love someone or you don't....You cant just swap one person for another. Or I cant. NOR DO I WANT TO.

My family thinks that I need to have focus...goals...a plan. I need to get serious and stop day dreaming. To take on more adult responsibilities...yada yada yada....I know the drill. And I wont say that they are completely wrong about some of this....But let me figure it out....Stop trying to do it for me. I keep trying to explain, I'm not them. I'm not the same person. I have to do it my way.

If I have heard it once I have heard it a ga-zillion times..."Ive been where you are. I already know the mistakes a head of you...You need to listen to me. I'm trying to help you".

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! STOP ALREADY!

I know you have seen things I haven't. I also know you may have more life experience than I do. But geezzzzzzzz cut me some slack here. I not stupid. Have some faith in the way you raised me. I just need to work this out on my own. I want to work it out on my own. I want to make my own plan and my own mistakes whatever they might be. I will take responsibility if I screw it up. I'm not making excuses for those Ive made already. Just give me some breathing room. Please.

I keep thinking if I bide my time...some new object of obsession will get their attention and my life will fade from their thoughts. I admit I'm not good at being pushed...I tend to dig in and go the opposite direction when it happens. If those who kept pushing me really thought about it they would know this.

I suppose if the truth be told...I know them too..and I know that the same way they are pushing my buttons...I'm in turn pushing theirs. Its pretty childish and dis functional sounding when you lay it out like that. But in families I guess we all know each others weak spots.

Do You Need 911...If so how badly?

Yesterday I was listening to the local news...They had a story about a man who had called 911 because his 37 year old girl friend was choking. On the recorded phone call you can clearly hear this man obviously frantic. He has no idea what to do for this woman. OK..I understand not everyone knows the Heimlich Maneuver ...And even someone who might know of it..at the point during an emergency might not have a clear enough head to actually attempt to use it.

Lets face it....not everyone remains calm cool and collected in those type of situations. Which is why some of us are cut out to be rescue help, while others are the rescued. However....you would think that when you call emergency assistance you would at least get someone on the other end of the phone who could assist you. Someone with the minimal and basic first aide instruction.

I know these people are mostly there to assess and send out medical help. But this 911 operator didn't know the Heimlich either. And while they were polite on the phone...polite is the last of my concerns if I am calling you because someone I care about is dying in front of me.

To make matters even worse in my eyes...The supervisor of this 911 operator who did in fact know the proper way to assist someone who was choking...refused to get on the line and assist the caller. In fact, could be heard in the background of the call almost making fun of the way the call was going.

REALLY?

It took 11 minutes for an ambulance to arrive...and by the time they got there the mans girlfriend was dead.

Maybe its just me but if you have the need to call 911...You do so because you have an emergency that your skills or knowledge cant solve or handle on your own. You are calling for help...assistance. Not to speak to someone who is nothing more than a glorified telemarketer.

I realise there are probably some legal ramifications I'm not aware of if you provide someone with verbal medical assistance and they screw it up. I will be honest with you..if there are and what they would be... I couldn't begin to tell you. But considering you cant breath air anymore with out fear of being sued, nothing would surprise me.

I will say this...If this were me.....I would much rather be in trouble for attempting to help save someones life...Than to remain legally safe while I sit back and let them die.

Maybe its fortunate I'm not a 911 operator.

Working With A Bad Attitude

The key to understanding how to dig a hole for yourself is knowing when to stop digging. When you hit rock bottom..that's when its time to stop. I think that's pretty good advise. I however have never been one to take good advise. I am stubborn.

Being stubborn isn't my only problem at this moment...toss in a little apathy...a dash of procrastination....apply extreme pressure and you have successfully created one bad attitude. And not that I'm trying to brag here...But this is really the finest bad attitude I have ever managed to create and sustain for this long of a period of time. You always know when you have really achieved optimum success with your bad attitude...because you aren't just making yourself miserable any longer you are also managing to make others around you unhappy as well. So as far as bad behavior goes this will probably be a crowning achievement in my somewhat inexperienced life time.

There was a time not so long ago that I would have looked around and blamed everyone else for my situation. When you are a kid...its always the other guys fault. But I'm too old to be able to play that card anymore.

So I have decided to make my bad attitude work for me. I'm sick of being pushed...I am too stubborn to quit....even if others have given up on me. I am going to succeed and do it my way, if only to prove to everyone who's been riding me that I can. Yes...this will still accomplish some of the same goals. But in doing it my way will have the added bonus of pissing them off at the same time.

Is this childish thinking on my part? Yes probably....but did I mention I'm working with a bad attitude here?

Sink Or Swim

When I was a kid I used to think becoming an adult would be the greatest thing in the world...Nobody telling you what to do..No bed times..You get to eat whatever you want..You can drive and go where you want whenever you want. You have money so you can buy whatever you want. Yeah it all sounded pretty appealing back then.

I also remember on the vast number of occasions that my mom was up on her soap box giving what seemed to be another of her infinite lectures and advise as to what I needed to be doing or about my responsibilities in this world...She used to cap it off by saying: "Enjoy this time while you can...because when you get to be an adult everything changes". Well honestly at the time, I would have given my right arm to be an adult just so I could make her stop lecturing me.

But guess what? Here I am at 20 years old...Old enough in some peoples eyes to be seen as an adult. So do you want to know what I have discovered? Being an adult is a BITCH!

Yes that's right...it sucks. Maybe not all the time...but lets face it nothing sucks all the time. And those lectures I thought I wouldn't get any more once I hit this magical age. Well I still get them.....and do you know why? Because apparently there is this catch 22 that says once your someones kid you are someones kid for life. So they always worry about you and want whats best for you and give you their opinions about pretty much everything you do. So it doesn't matter how old you are...if they think you are screwing up they will tell you about it.

The thing is...lately I have been under the gun here at home. Because my family...(re: MOM) isn't happy with my choices, lack of ambition or motivation. This topic of discussion about my life and future has pretty much dominated my waking hours in my household for the past several weeks. While I will tell you very honestly that I have been hating life at my house...not at all to thrilled with my family to put it nicely....And right now I would rather take a beating than to admit this to my mom....she has a point.

I have been treading water. I have been procrastinating. Although this is not new behavior for me...I am a gifted procrastinator....I used to be their club president and if you look in the dictionary under procrastination I believe you will see my photo. I am the poster child for it.

Yet...I have to ask myself why am I doing this? I realize that I am..even if I don't choose to admit it to my critics at this moment. No one wants an I told you so. But I have had to think hard about why. The answer I came up with is fear. Fear of failing...fear of moving forward...fear of being disappointed or of rejection. Fear of a lot of things. But the bottom line is...my choices...or should I say lack of choices has been based on fear. Not something I'm really proud to have to admit...or even say out loud.

I have also come to realize part of being the adult isn't always getting to do the things you want to do. I have observed two parents while growing up. One did pretty much whatever they wanted to do. If there was a choice to be made...they picked the thing that made them happy over pretty much all else. The other...rarely if ever picked the thing they wanted to do....They tried to do the responsible thing. They tried to put their priorities where they felt they needed to be whether that met their wants and needs or not.

Neither of these parents lived the dream...I dont see the parent who picked their desires over their obligations or priorites any happier than the one who sacraficed for theirs. However I do respect one more than the other and if I had to call one for help...I know with out a doubt which one it would be.

But is this all there is? Just obligations and responsibilities and prioritising life?

PS : To the person who's been there for me no matter what. I owe you an apology. I involved you into the drama that is my life of late...and then got offended because you spoke your mind.

I felt at the time that you were being unfair in what you said to me...selfish even. That you were knowingly going to make things worse by speaking out. And that you're loyalty should have been with me and making things easier for me.

But the truth is...maybe it was me who was the selfish one. I provided you with the information....I asked you the question point blank and then I got angry when you were not only just being you..but being honest as well. That was unfair and wrong. I suppose if I don't want to know the answers to my questions..then I need to not ask them.

K F But No C

This is a true story.

Last weekend the girls and I decided we were in desperate need of some food. But not just any food. We were in the mood for that Southern Baptist staple. That's right......Fried Chicken.

It was only 9 o'clock at night, so we decided to head to the one place that we were sure to find the object of our desire. KFC. That would be- Kentucky Fried Chicken for those of you that have lived a sheltered life up until now.

Upon reaching the worlds most famous source of that secret recipe, golden battered and deep fried poultry goodness, we headed straight to the drive through window. Once there, I would like to say we were warmly greeted by a representative of KFC...but it would be more accurate to say we were confronted by a pink haired young woman who's name badge identified her as Shenikwa. One of KFC's finest, I'm sure. It was there that she delivered the saddest news this Southern girl will ever hear... and I quote..

" Uh Huh Girl, We Ain't Got No Chicken ".

HUH?

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DID YOU KNOW?

More than a billion of the Colonels "finger lickin' good" dinners are served annually in more than 80 countries and territories around the world..... Just apparently not where I live.
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My friend Z and I look at each other in disbelief, simultaneously thinking "Is she serious"?

I mean c'mon now...the sign says Kentucky Fried CHICKEN. Its in their name...they put it on their sign...ITS WHAT THEY DO... Isn't it?

Apparently Shenikwa could see the puzzled and confused looks on our faces....... So she turned to her fellow employee at the counter for confirmation of her previous statement.

"Yolanda..we got any more chicken"?

To which Yolanda replies...

"No girl...and we ain't making no more..we only gots an hour till we close".

WHAT????!!!!!

What does she mean only an hour?

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DID YOU KNOW?

The Colonel believed that properly fried chicken should take at least 45 minutes. That was up until the discovery of the pressure cooker which reduced times considerably....... Just apparently not where I live.
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I admit we were temporarily stunned by this news...but decided not to let this minor setback prevent us from fulfilling our quest of finding some delicious golden fried crispy goodness.

However..after a futile search all over town that consisted of two more grocery stores and one Walmart deli...we had come to the sad conclusion that there was absolutely no fried chicken to be had in the entire city limits.

This revelation was disturbing on a number of levels. First of all as I pointed out already.... I live in the South and in what is considered the bible belt. Not trying to sound stereotypical here...But we are a fried chicken society. It is a staple...a mainstay of southerners and baptists alike. So how could a small southern town be completely out of chicken on the most important chicken eating night of the week....Sunday. Was this just poor planning on someones part? Possibly to much demand and not enough supply?

This may seem like a trivial thing to most of you...But in my family...and maybe in the south in general..Fried Chicken can be directly related to salvation itself. Half of the individuals in my family alone would have never found the lord if it wasn't for those Sunday fried chicken dinners at the church. While I don't think there are any direct quotes in the bible concerning the value of fried chicken and salvation going hand in hand...I can say that I personally have had what could be considered a religious experience eating when it.

That is until last Sunday..Black Sunday...The day of K F but NO C.


















Just not where I live...

I Will Decide

The topic of the last post was about the proposed legislation in California to make it illegal to spank a child under the age of two years old. If this law were passed it would make California the first state in the nation that regulated how a parent could discipline their children.

The comments I received from this post were really interesting to me. Although they seemed to center more on the value of spanking as a form of discipline rather than whether government should be allowed to dictate how a parent can and should discipline their children. So that brought other questions to my mind.

Such as...Is it the role of government to tell a parent how to raise their child? If we say its ok for them to tell us we cannot spank as a form of discipline then what other rules will this bring about? Will they also tell us where we can educate them, what they wear, what they are allowed to watch on TV and for how long? What about music and dating? Will these things also be deemed necessary to be regulated? And if we consent to all of these things... can we still say we are raising our own children? Or at this point are we allowing government to do it for us? And if we do this....what type of society will we become?

If we are going to take that step down the slippery slope....then what of the abortion issue?

I personally feel that once a sperm and egg are introduced and unite..that we are now dealing with a person. I don't care if at that point the person is just a mass of cells dividing amongst themselves. At that moment, when those two things meet, genetically speaking we are now on the course to creating a full fledged walking, talking, thinking human being.

You see, the problem I have with giving things a name......such as fetus for example, is that it seems to minimize its importance in the big scheme of things. But if you look at it as though it is just another descriptive name in a long list of names during the different stages of development.....such as Infant....Toddler....Child...Teen...Adult. Then you have to realize that you can call it whatever you like, but the end result is still the same. Its still a human.

Just as a caterpillar left alone becomes a butterfly......a tadpole becomes a frog......those few small cells dividing and dividing again, have everything it takes to one day walk...talk....think...and love.

Having said this....Do I want my government delving into this part of my life? Do I want them to have control and say so over my body? Do I want them to be able to tell me how to raise this child if I have one?

HELL NO I DO NOT!

I have a real problem when a government thinks they know what's the best thing for me even better than I do myself. I do not want others to do my thinking for me. I do not want others thinking they are smarter than I am and therefore NEED to do my thinking for me. I suppose the only way I can prevent such a thing from happening to me.....is to indeed think for myself and vote. And by doing so making sure that no one ever has a chance to pass laws that will take away my right to decided what kind of society we have.

I don't like everything in the world around me. I think there are a lot of things that could be said have gone straight to hell. But as bad as we seem to think things are, I do not want ANYONE taking away my rights to speak and think and live freely.

They say that when you loose things like freedoms that you never lose them all at once. That evil is not something that comes and falls on you like a wall. It is the small, insignificant day to day things that we give up because we are too lazy to do them for ourselves. Like parenting our children.

Maybe I am to idealistic in my thinking....but if you think so...maybe you need to be too.

Spank Me...

First of all the title got you curious didn't it? *laughing*

Secondly.... where was this woman when I was a kid?

A California legislator has announced that she hasn't written it yet...BUT she intends to.....soon....very very soon.....[are you on the edge of your seat?] She intends to write a bill that proposes limits on spanking.

She wants California to be the first state in the nation to pass a law making it illegal for parents to spank their children. If the law passes it will make spanking any children under the age of 3 a misdemeanor. With penaties that could include child rearing classes or up to one year of jail time.

Jail time? Are they serious? Just the mention of the bill has sparked heated commentary from legislators as well as parents. One person suggested that they pass a bill making it ok for parents to smack other parents of undisciplined children. *laughing* I think I could actually support that one.

Since the suggestion of the Bill was mentioned publicly, the office of its sponsor has been "inundated" with calls. She stated that most of the calls concerning the bill were negative and against such legislation. She said she found this attitude puzzling because the bill only covers the states youngest most vulnerable children. She further stated that she has to question why our society holds so tightly to physical discipline among the very young. "We're very addicted to violence" she says.

Addicted to violence? And you think the way to curb that addiction is to stop spanking our kids? Really now?

My mom got spanked when she was a kid so far she seems to have managed to stay on this side of the law. Although she has on occasion wanted to put some of the young men I have dated in shallow holes in our back yard....But in all fairness to her...they were asses and she had a point. So does that even count?

I myself got spanked on occasion when I was a kid. My mom never beat me with anything. She used her flat palm of her hand on my soft tushy bottom. As a matter of fact, I think that during my entire childhood I might have received only 5 such spankings.

However..I would like to point out..that I wasn't a stupid child either. My mom was very good at teaching me the concept of "cause and effect". If I "caused" her a problem or embarrassment...the "effect" would be that I would wish I hadn't. I honestly believe that part of what kept me from doing more stupid things as a child was that healthy intimidation she instilled in me.

She made it clear to me early in my life that the word "NO" was not a negotiation tactic on her part. If she said No to me about something.....No is exactly what she meant. It didn't mean maybe...or keep asking until you wear me down. It meant "NO" and if you keep asking me "causing" me grief...the "effect" side of things would come into play.

She never wanted to hear the words..."But so and so's mom lets her do it". She made it quite clear that she was MY mom and SHE was the only person who's authority or opinions I needed to concern myself with. She never allowed me to use my friends for my excuses or alibis. Such as..I'm sorry mom...But Megan was driving I cant help it we were late. She didn't want to hear excuses.....She explained that I was responsible for my own activities and I was well aware of the rules I had to go by. If I knew my ride wasn't going to get me home on time..I had better call her and make other arrangements to get home. She gave me a curfew...and I was allowed to come home early....but late..even 5 minutes late wasn't an option.

If my plans changed when I was out in any way.....I had better give her a phone call with an update. I was never ever to make her worry about me or wonder where I was. These things were not negotiable. EVER!

My mom didn't have to spank me because I knew the rules. I knew the consequences for breaking the rules. And if I had a lapse in memory or judgment..she had this look she gave me that said very clearly "I'm this close to going terminator on you so knock it off". She never had to do it...I never tested it out..never wanted to. I had known the woman all my life and had no doubt it wasn't an empty threat.

Now just so we are clear....I don't think an infant understands or knows what spanking is. A very small child is all about its basic needs...food.....sleep....dry clothing...affection. But if by the age of two you haven't started teaching your child the word NO...then YOU ARE screwing up. I'm not advocating hitting a child with things...I'm not advocating hitting a child with fists or hitting a child in anger or in a manner that could be considered beating them. Lets use simple common sense here.

But I don't think its necessary to legislate to parents what type of discipline they feel is appropriate for their own children. If you think that violence is an issue in society...Then find a way to address violence. Do it in the music you listen to or the games you play or the movies you watch. If you think that people need to be taught how to behave with their kids...then make it a law they have to actually raise them and interact with them if you think you can.

Because I have to tell you...As strict as my mom was with me about some things....I have never had any doubt that she loved me. She told me all the time..she showed me often in many different ways. She has always been there for me, involved in every aspect of my life from the time I was very small up to now. I will admit there have been times when I would have liked to be adopted..she got on ALL my nerves. But I also know that if I need an honest answer or someone to help me up if I fall...day or night...my mom is the one I call.

More Brain Candy....

I love reading the weird news. I realize that these articles aren't life changing. They usually don't deal with any real earth shattering issues. Lets face it most of the time its just brain candy. Stuff that you may read and laugh at while shaking your head and muttering under your breath....."What are they thinking"...


Grandma's Fruitcakes~
First there was the grandma who during this past holiday season was put into tears over being questioned about her fruitcakes. Apparently she takes her baking very seriously. So when the clerk at her local Post Office asked her what kind of explosives she had in her packages.... She was embarrassed and humiliated to the point of tears. She was apparently so distraught that upon leaving the post office she tripped and fell, breaking her glasses and chipping a tooth.

OH NO THE HORROR! This traumatic experience prompted Grandma to try and sue the USPS for emotional distress.

I have a grandma...I am as sympathetic as the next person to someone's tender feelings. BUT woman you need to get a grip. It was a question that the Post Office is now required to ask of EVERYONE concerning any packages being mailed through them. The clerk probably knowing what you were mailing asked it in humor..which is why it got a laugh from the other customers who were waiting in line behind you at the Post Office.

I doubt seriously that the clerk in question was trying to be offensive in anyway. Yes maybe he should have been a little more professional when he asked if you had a bomb in your fruitcakes. But if you tripped and fell on your way out the door perhaps you either need to adjust that prescription on those glasses you were wearing or look where you are going. Just a thought.

But to sue because of emotional distress?? PLEASE! In my opinion there was more than one fruitcake in this story.


Littering On The Highway~
Two teenage girls going down the highway......One of the young women (the passenger) decides it would be a good idea to remove her bra and hang it from the antenna of the car she was in. As you might guess the laws of physics kick in here.....Car travels at high rate of speed....Wind pressure on outside of car dislodges poorly attatched undergarment..... Causing said undergarment to go flying.

AWWWW I feel her pain...I loose more underwear that way. [NOT] Apparently the car behind them didn't fair to well when Victorias Secret decided to go flying away. The man driving said he swerved to miss the flying bra....and in doing so caused his vehicle to over turn and flip several times. Resulting in injuries to the driver and his passenger.

That's a very tragic story all right and definitely reckless on the part of the young lady who attempted to fly her bra like a flag.

So then why did the young woman only get charged with littering on the highway? She apparently caused an accident that resulted in injuries didn't she? Hmmmmmm

Could it be because according to the young ladies involved.....the men in question were apparently trying to pull up beside the girls car, encouraging them to flash their naked breasts at them while driving. OH MY! Imagine my surprise.

That's when they lost my sympathy...what about yours?


Court Says Topless Is Ok~
A court upheld a ruling that a woman could indeed protest topless if she wanted to. This ruling struck down a prior arrest of a women who repeatedly ignored laws about women going bare breasted in public.

There is a part of me likes this story...NOT because I'm all that crazy about seeing a woman topless in or out of public. But because its sort of a matter of fairness isn't it?

She protested topless in front of statues which were also topless. The ordinance in question bans public nudity. Which isn't necessarily a bad thing. But if your going to ban something because you feel its inappropriate......then it shouldn't be gender based. For that matter if your going to say that a topless real woman is considered indecent in public.....then shouldn't art depicting a topless woman also be indecent in public? Therefore the topless statues she protested in front of were illegal too. Right or wrong?

I do understand the differences that we as a society place on seeing a topless female vs a topless male. But technically...its the same thing. Its just become socially acceptable for a male to be topless where its taboo for women. I think it stems from that whole child bearing breast feeding thing that gets everyone so antsy...

I'm not in anyway trying to condone or promote women being allowed to do this publicly. In fact, I'm not saying they should or they shouldn't one way or the other. All I am doing is asking some questions here. If your going to have a law.....shouldn't it be a law that does not hinder one group over another? Shouldn't it be fair and represent both sexes equally.

Last time I checked the laws were supposed to be of the people for the people by the people. I think this means men as well as women......doesn't it?

I Wonder

I wonder what kind of place the world would be...

If we lived in a world where instead of countries sending their people out to fight their wars, they made their respective leaders do it themselves- in the traditional sense. One on one... face to face... and with bare fists. I wonder- would the bullies of the world still win?

I wonder what kind of place the world would be...

If we lived in a world where a leader was willing to get his own hands dirty. Would that same leader be willing to go out and live in the same conditions that he asks and expects his troops to live in? And if he did... would he still choose to go to war and the fight for his cause when it was he that had to give up his family, his friends and the comforts of his home instead of his nameless, faceless troops? .

I wonder what kind of world we would have...

If we had to take a test before we could marry. What if it simply wasn't enough to just be in love? That we actually had to think about what our lives would be like, once we tied the proverbial knot. And what if we actually had to have a plan and have answers as to how we planned to conduct our lives as a married couple? Would people be so quick to do it then, if they knew they were being going to be graded on their responses?

What if we were made to actually parent our children? What would happen if in order to have a child we actually had to be able to prove that we would always be around to raise it? What if we didn't have the option of leaving that said child with nanny's,family, friends and/or day care more hours in the day than we could actually spend with it ourselves? What if we were forced to go to all the soccer games, help with the homework and each day spend a set amount of time interacting with them?

What then? Would we stop having as many children if we really had to choose between career and family? Would the world be a better place? If our children are the future of our countries and the future of our very planet- would we be better people if we actually had to learn from our children instead of the other way around?

I wonder what kind of world this would be...

IF ONE DAY, ALL OF THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENED.