Sunday, July 31, 2005

I Blame Fairy Tales

I blame Fairy Tales...Everyone of them tell us we are supposed to be either looking for Distressed Damsels or Frogs to change into our Ideal Prince. What's the deal? So the person we pick should either be in need of saving or someone who we need to change to fit our needs???...WOAH NOW! What about actually looking for a woman who's healthy? Now there's a concept. Pick someone who is EXACTLY what we want straight out of the box? No modification or fixer-upper issues at all? NOOOOO say its not so! Then what will we do with our free time? When we no longer have to slay someone else's dragons or change some poor frog into the perfect Mr Right?

I say let the Damsel get her butt down out of the tower all on her own..It will be good for her. A learning experience. And leave the poor frog alone. There's nothing wrong with frogs. If a frog isn't what you want then stop kissing him! Leave him to another girl frog who will be happy that he's exactly what she's been looking for. Her Mr Right, warts and all.

If you're saying "But...But...I love him/her" Ask yourself this, do you really love them or do you love being the hero to them? Do you like the idea that you might be saving them from what ever it is they are now? If you think your doing them a favor your not. If its a distressed Damsel and you keep fixing things for her then she's going to expect you to do that all the time. And unless that's just your thing being the "repair man" this situation will get old eventually. Not only will you get tired of it, but when you do, she's going to be thinking why have you changed? Your not the same prince you were when we met.

Ladies..Did it ever occur to anyone that the frog doesn't know he's a frog, at least in your eyes? He's probably under the impression he's just a normal nice guy and perfectly happy in his corner of the pond...It's YOU'RE perception of him that's in error, not his. When you start trying to change someone, one of two things are going to happen...Either they are going to get fed up with you trying to change them. Even a mouse will eventually stand up to you. Or they are going to let you change them and then your not going to be happy with that, because they are no longer a challenge. Happily Ever After should not be a science project..

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

Southern, Blonde and Politically Incorrect

I read an article about a company selling this T-shirt "New Mexico Cleaner Than Regular Mexico" I'm sorry maybe I should be more sensitive, but I laughed.

This company is on the hot seat with its sale of this shirt, because its being considered defamation, implying that Mexico is dirty. The same company also apparently carries a shirt that says "Everybody Loves A Jewish Girl" surrounded by dollar signs and "Voting Is For Old People" all these shirts have apparently been offensive to one group or another.

Ok, now I realize some things are in bad taste. But when did we get to the point we cant laugh at ourselves? I do not advocate anything that condones violence or harm to anyone. I suppose the above statements could be considered harmful to someone's feelings. But common lets know who we are. Are we going to let every off color joke or stereotypical remark cause us to seek out the advise of an attorney? If so, then every time I heard a joke about the South or Blondes Id have to have the attorney on speed dial. I know who I am. I know what some people think about those of us who live in the south or women with blonde hair.....WHO CARES! Give me a break, do you think I'm going to let every smartass remark break my heart? If I do, then I will never make it in this world because everyone has an opinion and they don't always coincide with my own. Nor do they worry about my tender little feelings when they voice them. And If I do something Blonde and I frequently do, then I hope Ill be the first one pointing it out and laughing at myself for my own stupidity.

Blonde Joke of the Day...(Thank you Adrian)
Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table. A very attractive blonde woman arrived and bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!" As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed... "YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumbfounded. Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?" The other answered, "I don't know - I thought you were watching."
Moral - Not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.

Monday, July 25, 2005

Anniversary's, Kids and One Caped Crusader

We Made It and They don't Have A Name For It

I was listening to a local radio station a while ago..There is a guy who does a commentary during the lunch time..He tells stories like the one about the couple who had been married 80 years, so long they don't even have a name for the anniversary. I guess the first 50 years of marriage, its either paper or silver or gold and so on...But when you get to 80..They didn't see that one coming so they didn't name it. Besides I guess after 80 years of life together you have everything you need already. Maybe they should call it.. The Damn We Are Still Alive And Happily Married Anniversary. But what ever you want to call it they deserve congratulations and applause.

I Don't Know If I Believe This One

He also told of the family going on vacation..All the kids screaming and yelling because they wanted their happy meals...The parents are obviously stressed and not focused...Because at some point they put their infant child who is strapped in his baby carrier/car seat....On top the roof of the car. They get all the kids strapped in and then drive away. Until say 5 or 10 minutes later....OPPSSS seems like we have forgotten something...Oh yea the baby..Which as they realize was left on the top of the car...Well the frantic parents turn around and luckily for them there is Jr sitting in the center of the road still strapped in his car seat with out a scratch on him...Wow I have nothing to say to that.....Except I'm sorry MOM..

Batman Meet The Neighbors

Then there was the new neighbor....He just moves into his house...Its his first day, he's unpacking a few things, when he hears someone calling for help...."Help me please, Help me please, I think he's dead". HMMMM well, its coming from his new neighbors house so he goes and knocks on the door...No response, but he can still hear a woman calling for help. So the neighbor being a good guy breaks in the door...Follows the woman's voice to the bedroom...Where he sees what he finds out later is his next door neighbors wife tied to their bed completely naked...And she's calling" please help me I think he's dead"...The "he" in question is her husband...Who is laying on the floor wearing only a Batman cape and mask...Apparently....They were trying to spice things up with a little roll play...When Batman decides to jump off the dresser in their bedroom onto the bed...Hitting his head on the ceiling fan knocking him unconscious...The poor wife..Thinks he's been killed and here she is unable to get help or even confirm if her husband has gone to that big Bat Cave in the sky...I'm not against keeping things fresh and new...Especially between to consenting adults..But that's a really bad way to meet the neighbors.

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Hopeful Romantic

I have been reading my friend Adrian's Blog..."Off My Blog" for a little while now...Its a good read for anyone who's not been there before and I highly recommend it...But recently he's made some comments about his family's and society's desire for someone his age to be married and settled down behind a picket fence with his ration of 2.5 children.

After reading the comments made by others out there, it's clear that Adrian's family aren't the only ones who feel that they want their children, sisters, brothers, sons or daughters to follow along... Is this because we want our children to follow in the "norm".. Like a string of duckling after its mother. And if for some reason we step outside this box there must surely be something wrong? This seems to be one of thoughs "Damned if you do or Damned if you don't" situations.

If we are lucky enough to find that life partner by the age of 21-25 and settle down, and have the presence of mind at that age to know exactly what we want, and have the maturity to actually go looking for it.......Then wonderful! But what if like so many others at that age we don't know for sure what we want. We are still searching for the thing that's makes us feel like "This is Me". Should we still rush and settle for the first sort of kind of person that we think we might be able to tolerate for what...ETERNITY?

I maybe old fashioned and maybe I haven't the clue or the experience to be talking about this yet, but I feel like marriage is a forever thing. If that's not what your wanting for you life, then marriage probably isn't the path you want to take. Has it become more socially acceptable to be Divorced now....Instead of single and just not ready or to not have found that right person?...If so that's kind of sad....And slightly unhealthy. Maybe I'm a hopeless romantic....NO...I will say HOPEFUL ROMANTIC...Because I believe that there are worse things than being single. Yes, I want something special with someone someday. But I'm willing to wait. Because I truly believe when the time is right I will know. How will I know this? Because like with other decisions in my life...I will feel at peace....

Friday, July 22, 2005

What Was I Thinking?

I live in the South and in a small town...So over the years I have become used to my colorful friends and relatives and their thoughts and views of life...But it still never ceases to amaze me when I'm listening to their conversations some of the things that are talked about...

First of all let me say...There are some more than strange limbs on my family tree....I have a Grandfather who is ex smuggler...An Aunt with a double jointed pinky toe who is sure she was abducted by aliens when she was younger...And a few Great Aunts who not only read supermarket tabloids, subscribe to them...So its not unusual to hear conversations around a dinner table about the tragic break up of "Brad and Jen" or about some recent sighting of Elvis...Who by the way isn't really dead...But had to go underground for health reasons and some problems with the IRS.....Of course he did........"What was I thinking"?

Then there are my friends....Some of whom I will admit are a bit country...Just the other day I was talking to a guy friend..Who I had not really known all that long...He's usually pretty funny and so we have had our share of interesting conversations...Anyway..He tells me...."Girl you are so sweet and sooo pretty....I sure would like to share my Snickers Bar with you"...OKAY now there's a line I hadn't heard before....So I kind of laughed and I said "Tell me does that line really work?....Do you actually get women with that one"?....And he said "Yes Mam..I sure do..That's how I got my fiance".....Well its obviously working for him then.....I mean he got engaged with it... So all I could say was well, I guess if its not broke don't fix it. What was I thinking?

Recently I had a bat get into our house...(another story all together) And I was telling another friend the story of my Bat drama...I was expecting him to say...."Oh wow.....Really" or "What happened"? Or "What did you do"? You know the same stuff everyone else had been asking me. Instead the first words out of his mouth were "Did you eat him"?........DID I EAT HIM?.... And the sad thing is a normal person would have said that out loud. But the first thing that I said was "Well how would you even cook something like that, and what would you serve to go with it"? To which he replied....."You flour him with corn meal...Lightly fry him and then serve him with some grits or potatoes.....Which ever one you like better".....Well of course you do....What was I thinking?

I know, I know, you're all thinking wow and she's single!....The next guy I bring home meet my family if he's still around after dinner is over...I will have to ask him... "What ARE you thinking"?

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Cats or Dogs and Other Questions

Since I wrote my first blog about finding a "Chivalrous Man," I have gotten a lot of comments and opinions on why there are so few "good guys" out there. And this has brought other questions to my mind.

For example:

I have had only two what I would call serious relationships in my life. Not that much I know, but considering my age, I think about average. Neither of these turned out to be healthy. More a long the lines of a train wreck. So......... NOW I have to ask myself some pretty tough questions. I have to see how much responsibility I have to take upon myself for the way things turned out. It's easy to say this was a "bad guy" and then blame his mother, or his ex girlfriends, or society and pop culture for the lack of respect he showed me and other women. But, its one thing to have someone treat you badly, its another thing to take it........And keep coming back for more.

I think maybe we have to stop blaming our crappy relationships on the men or women we choose....Because lets face it we picked them. Not only did we pick them but when the red flags popped up......And be honest here.....YOU know they did......We stayed.....And probably not just once but twice or more.

Someone once told me that you can fall in love with a lot of different people in your life time. But just because they get in your heart doesn't mean they are a fit for your life. The same person told me that you can't change a cat into a dog and if your a dog lover........ Getting a cat wont make you happy. Now I think that's a round about way of saying that we should have a clear cut idea in our mind of what kind of life we want and what kind of person would compliment that life. If we meet someone who's looking like "Mr Right"but he's going in another direction that where we wanted to go, we need to have the good sense to walk away, instead of hoping we can turn the cat into a dog. People are what they are, we shouldn't be trying to change them to fit our needs. They either fit or they don't...... We need to stop trying to fit a square peg into a round hole.

So maybe its time to do some soul searching and figure out where I need to be....Even if that turns out to be an ocean away.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Chivalry Isnt Dead: Its just an Endangered Species

When did it become unfashionable, politically incorrect or just un-cool to be treated like a lady? I realize that the concept of having a guy open your door or pull out your chair is old fashioned to most people now a days. But to be honest...I think that sucks! Up until now it never really occurred to me that I was missing any of these things. However just recently I met someone who made me rethink this and change my view...
I met A........Are you ready for this?........A REAL Gentleman! Yes that's right, not an imitation, but the real deal.
Sooo the obvious question.....Where has this guy been all my life? Well after getting to know him, I believe the answer to that is probably in a witness protection program or keeping his head down and a low profile. Why would he do this? Because after dating a few High Maintenance, Tire Slashing, Bunny Boiling females he decided this was his best option for his life at the time. Do I blame him?.....NOPE...I can understand completely why he would want to step off the tracks of that dating train to avoid being someone else's road kill. I do think its a shame. When I hear so many women asking the same question "Where are all the Good Guys" why don't they make those anymore? Well they do......They aren't extinct.....They are just an endangered species....And in hiding.
But let me say this...This "MAN", is open, honest, kind, intelligent, extremely funny, romantic and still genuine, flirtatious with out being crude, and speaks to me with respect. How does this make me feel? It makes me feel beautiful, intelligent, sexy and completely feminine....As far as I can see this is a win win situation. So from now on...I want to be treated like a lady. And I would highly recommend it to anyone who asks. I would just like to know who to thank...This really great guy for being who he is? The last boil your bunny girl friend who obviously had no clue what she had? Or maybe his Mom for raising him right? Maybe all three... So with all sincerity....THANK YOU.