Sunday, November 07, 2010

Grace vs Gravity

Gravity thou art a bitch....

Isaac Newton may have decided to point out and define the obvious...."what goes up must come down". But personally speaking, I tend to prove his theories on a regular basis. Most recently in fact after taking a backwards fall from some stairs. I am now a semi immobile example of what happens when Newtons Laws are put into practice. And just in case you were wondering, the falling part wasn't so bad, but the landing however, not as great. I believe its the abrupt stop you come to against the hard ground that has to suck the most.

I think back to childhood and all my moms hopes for having a child who was not only smart but also excelled in coordination and grace. She stuck me in dance classes, gymnastics and softball etc.....All with hopes of seeing her little girl....well.... keep up at the very least, if not excel.

I think excelling was a bit too much to ask for. At times keeping up seemed to be to much to hope for too. But I went out there and I gave it my best shot and I didn't always fall down on my most prominent feature and embarrass myself or my family. Not that my mom would have ever admitted to being embarrassed by my two left feet and lack of balance. But I know as hard as she tried to encourage me to get up brush myself off and get my all to bruised derriere back out there and keep trying, she must have had hopes it was something Id grow out of eventually. Sorry didn't happen.

Normally I wouldn't mind a few days guilt free vacation (Doctors orders) to lay in bed and catch up on my reading and sleep. Especially since I haven't been sleeping very well for the past few months. But after 5 days of basically laying around unable to move, and a few more days of hopping around one legged, I'm really over the joy of immobile bed rest. The thrill is gone.

I have slept way to much due to some Doctor prescribed medications ... I'm all slept out. I have watched more TV in the past week than I have watched in the past year and I have read at least a half dozen books. To be honest I am going out of what little mind I have. I need activity, something to keep my mind and body busy. The quiet time I normally would have enjoyed and looked forward to has become more a deafening silence that gives me to much time to over think everything in my life. Something that I do not want to do right now. Mainly because I have no solid answers to any of my current questions.

So here I am. On my blog once own little slice of therapy. Venting a little, feeling a bit edgy and restless and wondering whats going to happen next? I guess I just stand up one more time and keep moving forward one left foot in front of the other and figure it out as I go. At least until my next trip and fall from grace.