I know this probably wont sound very nice. But I am sometimes really disappointed and even disgusted with my gender. I wont go as far as to say this feeling I have is with ALL women. If I were to do that, I would be contributing to the very thinking that currently has me frustrated. But I can say that a large majority of those females I have been exposed to really tick me off!
You...those of you I'm speaking to are making me look bad. And I resent it. Because of your bad behavior in relationships...I'm being lumped into this category right along with you because I share the same sex. Its frustrating when you try really hard to live your life in a certain way....and yet when others look at you and when I say others I mean the other 50% of the population that is not female....When others look at you and all they see is another "female".
I'm not going to give guys a free pass on bad behavior. I have personal experience with those individuals who are proof positive men can behave badly. I have a good many guy friends. Some of them I will admit are dogs. They know they are..I know they are. It is what it is. I don't condone their bad behavior in the way they treat women. I just accept who and what they are at face value.
After all I'm not their Mother or their Minister...and its not my job to judge them or fix them. If they want my opinion on what it is they are doing....then they will get it. They wont like it, but they will indeed get it. Which is probably why they don't ask.
Then there are those who are the nice guys. What could be considered decent datable guys.....except for one thing. They have had the misfortune to be involved with one of the above for mentioned "women". Who at some point in the relationship managed to ruin there belief in the idea that there could be a nice girl out there. These female wolves in nice girls clothing have managed to hurt their pride....hurt their feelings and break their hearts. And because of this prior embarrassment and pain they have suffered they no longer wish to give anyone the benefit of the doubt. They have adopted the eat or be eaten attitude. Do unto others before they can do unto you.
Its hard to watch...because it seems such a waste. But its even harder when you are a single female who would really like to meet a nice decent guy. Who would like to be given the benefit of the doubt or just a chance for someone to get to know who you really are. But instead..you are met with a lot of preconceived ideas of what you must be......just because of the simple fact you are female.
The most frustrating part of it all is that I cant even defend it. The truth is on some level I not only understand how these guys feel, I agree with them. I think a lot of these women are in fact high maintenance and material. They are self centered......they are cheats and untrustworthy...they are promiscuous in their personal behaviors. Some are just plain evil. I know they are. I am a wittiness to it. I see it all the time.... all around me. So how can I defend that?
The answer is I cant. So what happens when you say "But, that's them....I'm not like that"? Well what happens is that you are looked at as if you are trying too hard to sell yourself. It looks and sounds false and unbelievable. I mean isn't that what they all say? I'm innocent...
So here I am...not perfect by any means. I make mistakes all the time. But I think I'm a good person. I don't cheat....I have values that I live by. I try and conduct myself in a way that I can respect. Because that's where it starts isn't it? You have to have respect for yourself if you want others to have any respect for you....... right?
But in order for that to happen... You have to have someone with an open mind who is willing and wants to see who you really are as a person. Someone who will take that time and give you that chance...... Because lets face it...anyone can pretend to be something they aren't for a short time, which is part of the above problem. But over the long haul...usually the truth of who and what you are is revealed. But how do you tell a guy..."Hey look you don't have to believe me..but if you stick around long enough Ill show you who I am..I can prove it".
The truth is again you cant...because they really don't want to hear it....and they don't believe it. They have heard it all before. They are jaded.
If your wondering whats gotten me verbally venting about this subject. Its been bothering me for a while now. But last weekend I was having a heart to heart talk with a male friend. He and I have only just become close in this past year. I also honestly believe that we have spent enough time talking in depth and become close enough that he knows who I am. I also know him and I know he is a bit of a cynic with most things involving people and their motives. But still...here we are having one of our talks and he makes the statement that he thinks that ALL women put out what they think a guy wants to hear in order to attract him and then when they have "gotten him" They get comfortable in their situation and revert to their true selves.
I admit that statement irritated me...frustrated me...and disappointed me. Which knowing him was probably his intent when saying it. But still...If one of my friends...a guy who clearly already thinks I'm a great girl and very datable by his own admission.....can still think that.....then what hope do I have?
Even when I asked him "why would I want to give a guy a false sense of who I am"? Why would I want to pretend to enjoy activities that I don't like? Or books or movies I don't really care for just to get him interested in me? Isn't the whole point to find someone who is compatible with who you really are. Someone who fits in with your life? If you pretend to be something your not just to attract someone.....then doesn't that defeat the whole purpose of trying to find the right one?
His reply was.... ALL women do it.
AHHHHGGGHHHH.....I give up!