What Was I Thinking?

I live in the South and in a small town...So over the years I have become used to my colorful friends and relatives and their thoughts and views of life...But it still never ceases to amaze me when I'm listening to their conversations some of the things that are talked about...

First of all let me say...There are some more than strange limbs on my family tree....I have a Grandfather who is ex smuggler...An Aunt with a double jointed pinky toe who is sure she was abducted by aliens when she was younger...And a few Great Aunts who not only read supermarket tabloids, subscribe to them...So its not unusual to hear conversations around a dinner table about the tragic break up of "Brad and Jen" or about some recent sighting of Elvis...Who by the way isn't really dead...But had to go underground for health reasons and some problems with the IRS.....Of course he did........"What was I thinking"?

Then there are my friends....Some of whom I will admit are a bit country...Just the other day I was talking to a guy friend..Who I had not really known all that long...He's usually pretty funny and so we have had our share of interesting conversations...Anyway..He tells me...."Girl you are so sweet and sooo pretty....I sure would like to share my Snickers Bar with you"...OKAY now there's a line I hadn't heard before....So I kind of laughed and I said "Tell me does that line really work?....Do you actually get women with that one"?....And he said "Yes Mam..I sure do..That's how I got my fiance".....Well its obviously working for him then.....I mean he got engaged with it... So all I could say was well, I guess if its not broke don't fix it. What was I thinking?

Recently I had a bat get into our house...(another story all together) And I was telling another friend the story of my Bat drama...I was expecting him to say...."Oh wow.....Really" or "What happened"? Or "What did you do"? You know the same stuff everyone else had been asking me. Instead the first words out of his mouth were "Did you eat him"?........DID I EAT HIM?.... And the sad thing is a normal person would have said that out loud. But the first thing that I said was "Well how would you even cook something like that, and what would you serve to go with it"? To which he replied....."You flour him with corn meal...Lightly fry him and then serve him with some grits or potatoes.....Which ever one you like better".....Well of course you do....What was I thinking?

I know, I know, you're all thinking wow and she's single!....The next guy I bring home meet my family if he's still around after dinner is over...I will have to ask him... "What ARE you thinking"?