Which is more significant to a persons life...the destination or the journey? I think maybe sometimes we become so focused on reaching our ultimate goal that we forget to learn from the people and steps we have to take along the way. When finally reaching the end of the road to our goal... sometimes we discover that the place we looked to for our success doesn't bring us the satisfaction or happiness we thought we would find there.
I have had to think a lot about what I want out of my life lately. I am at a place that I am making a lot of choices. I wont try and make it sound as though my choices are any more difficult or different than the average persons. They aren't. In fact I suppose maybe to someone else they probably seem pretty insignificant. Day to day I think probably most of us have a more narrow view of the world and tend to focus on the things that affect us personally as most the important. That's pretty human.
But even though I am just beginning, I know that this isn't a dress rehearsal. This..today is life. My life. And each day is one day that is gone and I wont get back again. I am realizing that its not as important where I end up so much, as it is that I become a better person along the way. That I take something from the people I meet and the things I experience and make myself better for having done so.
I cant say that everything so far has turned out the way I wanted or hoped it would. But I will say that when I think about it..I'm lucky that I have had the chance to love the people Ive loved and lucky for those who have loved me back. (no matter what a pain in the ass I am at times) I am lucky to have a family who cares for me. Even the mistakes I have made and the disappointments have their place in the person I am now becoming. I know I have a choice. Do I become stronger from the falls I take or do I let them keep me down?
Ultimately I know the only thing I have control over in this world is me. Realizing that brings a sort of peace. It doesn't mean I stop trying. In fact just the opposite..I plan to go out into the world and kick butt.
I just want to make sure I also go out and live, love and fully experience life while I do. In doing so..no matter where I end up...It will have all been worth it.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
Thursday, May 17, 2007
Need Directions?...Google It
I had someone send this to me the other day and when I actually did it I had to laugh. I hope maybe it will bring one to you as well. Follow the directions.....
- Go to Google.com
- Click on Maps
- Click on Get Directions
- Type in From: New York New York
- Type in To: Paris France
- Then read line #24
Those Google people dont miss a thing do they? LOL
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Ready To Matriculate
You can lead a blond to knowledge but you cant make her think.
Yes..I know that was really bad. But still appropriate in this case. Its taken me some time to get to this point. I have no problem with going to college. In fact I think if you want to go and you have the chance to go....you should take advantage of it. But that doesn't mean its for everyone.
I just don't think you should go just so you are able to say you went. Or because others "strongly suggest" that you go. I think those are all the wrong reasons. You go because you have a desire to learn something. Because you think the experience will improve your life in someway.
I have watched a lot of my peers get on the college bound train...only to drop out later realising it wasn't for them. Or float aimlessly through it, not really getting anything from it....except for the knowledge of how to play beer pong or other assorted drinking games.
Not that I'm putting down the socialization part of the college experience, I'm not. I have a great many friends doing the whole matriculation thing now and loving it. I have spent enough time with them at their college apartments or on campus to know that I would probably fit in with the social aspect of it and enjoy it.
But there is more to it than that..or at least their should be. I guess its just taken me this long to decide that the time was right for me. So my friends I have officially submitted my application...and am working on the next steps toward my goal. And for the first time in a long while I am actually excited. I really feel like this is the right thing for me.
I feel hopeful, confident and ready to do this.
Yes..I know that was really bad. But still appropriate in this case. Its taken me some time to get to this point. I have no problem with going to college. In fact I think if you want to go and you have the chance to go....you should take advantage of it. But that doesn't mean its for everyone.
I just don't think you should go just so you are able to say you went. Or because others "strongly suggest" that you go. I think those are all the wrong reasons. You go because you have a desire to learn something. Because you think the experience will improve your life in someway.
I have watched a lot of my peers get on the college bound train...only to drop out later realising it wasn't for them. Or float aimlessly through it, not really getting anything from it....except for the knowledge of how to play beer pong or other assorted drinking games.
Not that I'm putting down the socialization part of the college experience, I'm not. I have a great many friends doing the whole matriculation thing now and loving it. I have spent enough time with them at their college apartments or on campus to know that I would probably fit in with the social aspect of it and enjoy it.
But there is more to it than that..or at least their should be. I guess its just taken me this long to decide that the time was right for me. So my friends I have officially submitted my application...and am working on the next steps toward my goal. And for the first time in a long while I am actually excited. I really feel like this is the right thing for me.
I feel hopeful, confident and ready to do this.
Saturday, May 05, 2007
Change
Anyone who's read this blog before or who knows me, knows I love poker. I love everything about it. I love sitting at a table with a few friends laughing and swapping a few lies. I love drinking an ice cold beer or some other beverage and munching on some salty snack food. I love sitting there looking like the young, blond, 5 feet 2 inches kid and innocently staring down all those big old guys and bluffing them out of their hard earned cash. YES I LOVE POKER.
I haven't played poker in a while or done a lot of the old things I used to enjoy. I have been letting things going on in my life take all my focus and keep me tied up in knots. To the point I think I had almost forgotten what it was like to be the old me. And you know what? I missed the old me. I missed her a lot!
This finally clicked once and for all in my brain when I had a long talk with a really good friend of mine. He is one of those kind of people that never cuts me any slack. He tells me exactly the way it is no matter if I want to hear it or not. Which is exactly what he did last night. Which is exactly what I needed to hear.
It was sort of weird. Because he didn't really tell me anything that I didn't already know. But when I heard him saying it, I finally saw it the way it was. By stressing and obsessing the way I have been I was changing who I am. I also realized I didn't like the person that I became while doing that.
After that talk..I felt better for the first time in a while. I felt like I had a new perspective on things. I felt my confidence coming back to me. I felt like I should look forward to the things a head of me.
Later that night when I got the invitation to go out and play poker with a few friends, I went. It wasn't a big game...just five of us. I walked in the door and told them all up front I only had $3 dollars in my pocket. Yeah I know, $3 dollars doesnt sound like someone who's really prepared to play poker. To be honest I have been pretty broke lately too...which has also added to my poor frame of mind. But I figured Id play a few hands with my friends and then sit and socialize once the money was gone.
They were playing a quarters game of Texas Hold um. So even my three measly dollars didn't seem to phase them. They told me to pull up a chair and anti up. I admit...the first few hands I barely broke even. Then the next few, I didn't do well at all and lost everything I had, including the $3 dollars I had showed up with.
This however didn't get me out of the game. My friends decided they would spot me about $10 dollars of quarters so that I could continue to play on. I was having a good time and I figured I had a little money in my secret stash at home that I had been saving for something else. So I agreed.
By the end of the night, the pile of silver sitting in front of me was considerable. It was down to three of us. One of the guys feeling like luck was moving in his direction decides he wants to up the stakes. He increases the anti. When it comes around the table to me...I sat there with my patented undecided look on my face...."Gee I don't know...aah well OK...I guess Ill stay and see what the cards do".
The pot keeps growing...My friend who felt luck was going to be his friend is now getting excited. He thinks hes got this one all tied up. Hes going to clean the table of this pot and then call it a night.
When it finally comes down to the last cards...hes got two pair. Don't get me wrong it wasn't a bad hand....But the last time I checked...two pair doesn't beat a straight. Which is what I was holding.
I laid my straight down on the table in front of him....and watched his face as I pulled ALL that money to my side of the table. He said "Damn it Jennifer, I thought you didn't have anything". I just smiled and said "Yes I know". His brother in law who was sitting on the other side of me is now dying laughing. I'm just sitting there grinning.
By the end of the evening.. they let me cash in all my silver for paper money. After paying back the $10 I was spotted earlier in the evening and then subtracting the original $3 I showed up with. I was coming home with an extra $60 dollars of someone elses money in my pocket.
This morning I woke up feeling hopeful....like maybe things are going to change for me. I feel like I'm going to make them change by moving forward. No it wasn't the poker game that did it. But the game did remind me of the old me...I missed her. I'm glad shes coming back.
I haven't played poker in a while or done a lot of the old things I used to enjoy. I have been letting things going on in my life take all my focus and keep me tied up in knots. To the point I think I had almost forgotten what it was like to be the old me. And you know what? I missed the old me. I missed her a lot!
This finally clicked once and for all in my brain when I had a long talk with a really good friend of mine. He is one of those kind of people that never cuts me any slack. He tells me exactly the way it is no matter if I want to hear it or not. Which is exactly what he did last night. Which is exactly what I needed to hear.
It was sort of weird. Because he didn't really tell me anything that I didn't already know. But when I heard him saying it, I finally saw it the way it was. By stressing and obsessing the way I have been I was changing who I am. I also realized I didn't like the person that I became while doing that.
After that talk..I felt better for the first time in a while. I felt like I had a new perspective on things. I felt my confidence coming back to me. I felt like I should look forward to the things a head of me.
Later that night when I got the invitation to go out and play poker with a few friends, I went. It wasn't a big game...just five of us. I walked in the door and told them all up front I only had $3 dollars in my pocket. Yeah I know, $3 dollars doesnt sound like someone who's really prepared to play poker. To be honest I have been pretty broke lately too...which has also added to my poor frame of mind. But I figured Id play a few hands with my friends and then sit and socialize once the money was gone.
They were playing a quarters game of Texas Hold um. So even my three measly dollars didn't seem to phase them. They told me to pull up a chair and anti up. I admit...the first few hands I barely broke even. Then the next few, I didn't do well at all and lost everything I had, including the $3 dollars I had showed up with.
This however didn't get me out of the game. My friends decided they would spot me about $10 dollars of quarters so that I could continue to play on. I was having a good time and I figured I had a little money in my secret stash at home that I had been saving for something else. So I agreed.
By the end of the night, the pile of silver sitting in front of me was considerable. It was down to three of us. One of the guys feeling like luck was moving in his direction decides he wants to up the stakes. He increases the anti. When it comes around the table to me...I sat there with my patented undecided look on my face...."Gee I don't know...aah well OK...I guess Ill stay and see what the cards do".
The pot keeps growing...My friend who felt luck was going to be his friend is now getting excited. He thinks hes got this one all tied up. Hes going to clean the table of this pot and then call it a night.
When it finally comes down to the last cards...hes got two pair. Don't get me wrong it wasn't a bad hand....But the last time I checked...two pair doesn't beat a straight. Which is what I was holding.
I laid my straight down on the table in front of him....and watched his face as I pulled ALL that money to my side of the table. He said "Damn it Jennifer, I thought you didn't have anything". I just smiled and said "Yes I know". His brother in law who was sitting on the other side of me is now dying laughing. I'm just sitting there grinning.
By the end of the evening.. they let me cash in all my silver for paper money. After paying back the $10 I was spotted earlier in the evening and then subtracting the original $3 I showed up with. I was coming home with an extra $60 dollars of someone elses money in my pocket.
This morning I woke up feeling hopeful....like maybe things are going to change for me. I feel like I'm going to make them change by moving forward. No it wasn't the poker game that did it. But the game did remind me of the old me...I missed her. I'm glad shes coming back.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Majority Rules
Maybe my thinking is naive or idealistic. But it is what I believe
I don't think any system of government is perfect. I believe that most have their flaws that need to be worked out and adjusted as time goes on and the country and its people evolve and grow. But I also believe in this country it is a mistake to look away from the basic beliefs and principals that our country was founded on.
History tells us that our founding fathers were not perfect men. In fact on a personal level many were far from it. But there is one thing you can say about them that holds true today. They had a vision. They had the courage and fortitude to implement that vision. They sat down and drafted a document that was the foundation for this country and it remains so today. Considering how long we have been in business you have to admit they were on to something.
The country was founded with basic Christian principles. But it allowed for the freedom to have other beliefs and worship. Even though the vast majority of its citizens all held the same beliefs.
It was founded on the idea that everyone had a right to speak. Yes most were of the same political and social thinking....But it allowed for that free dialogue that gave people a chance to voice new ideas, concerns and even make changes without fear of retribution.
I suppose anyone reading this right now is thinking...YES...and your point?
My point is...this is what the country is all about. Its what it has been about since its conception. So why do we keep allowing others to try and make us into a people of politically correct accommodation?
Those of other faiths...we welcome you regardless if your beliefs differ from ours. We are glad to let you share in the freedom of worship that our country provides. But understand the majority of its people are of the christian faith. You can not expect or ask an entire nation to change its values to accommodate you. Here majority rules. If you feel this is an unfair practice. You may attempt to change it with a vote. That is our way too.
Those of you who live in fear of those who possess guns. The founding fathers gave us the privilege and right to bear arms. Yes that privilege has been abused by some with tragic consequences. But in this country the majority of our citizens are decent and law abiding. You can not punish the innocent in a hope of stopping a few that will be guilty. Here again majority rules.
Every country needs to grow and change. But it is wrong to try and change what isn't broken for the majority of its citizens because of a few. Here in our country, each vote counts. Each individual can still speak out and together the sum total of voices equal majority rules.
Do not think to make our choices for us. The majority still want the freedom to do that for ourselves.
I don't think any system of government is perfect. I believe that most have their flaws that need to be worked out and adjusted as time goes on and the country and its people evolve and grow. But I also believe in this country it is a mistake to look away from the basic beliefs and principals that our country was founded on.
History tells us that our founding fathers were not perfect men. In fact on a personal level many were far from it. But there is one thing you can say about them that holds true today. They had a vision. They had the courage and fortitude to implement that vision. They sat down and drafted a document that was the foundation for this country and it remains so today. Considering how long we have been in business you have to admit they were on to something.
The country was founded with basic Christian principles. But it allowed for the freedom to have other beliefs and worship. Even though the vast majority of its citizens all held the same beliefs.
It was founded on the idea that everyone had a right to speak. Yes most were of the same political and social thinking....But it allowed for that free dialogue that gave people a chance to voice new ideas, concerns and even make changes without fear of retribution.
I suppose anyone reading this right now is thinking...YES...and your point?
My point is...this is what the country is all about. Its what it has been about since its conception. So why do we keep allowing others to try and make us into a people of politically correct accommodation?
Those of other faiths...we welcome you regardless if your beliefs differ from ours. We are glad to let you share in the freedom of worship that our country provides. But understand the majority of its people are of the christian faith. You can not expect or ask an entire nation to change its values to accommodate you. Here majority rules. If you feel this is an unfair practice. You may attempt to change it with a vote. That is our way too.
Those of you who live in fear of those who possess guns. The founding fathers gave us the privilege and right to bear arms. Yes that privilege has been abused by some with tragic consequences. But in this country the majority of our citizens are decent and law abiding. You can not punish the innocent in a hope of stopping a few that will be guilty. Here again majority rules.
Every country needs to grow and change. But it is wrong to try and change what isn't broken for the majority of its citizens because of a few. Here in our country, each vote counts. Each individual can still speak out and together the sum total of voices equal majority rules.
Do not think to make our choices for us. The majority still want the freedom to do that for ourselves.
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