Q) What do you get when you cross a strong willed perfectionist with an alcoholic substance abuser?
A) You get a child who is never satisfied with anything she does... who never feels quite good enough.....who bends over backwards to pacify and please others.
I spent my Christmas alone this year. By my own choice. I know...I shouldn't even be allowed to complain right? I mean a lot of people do that every year...they have no choice. They have no family or friends and are essentially alone in the world. So why should I have the right to complain or feel sad about this choice I made....I shouldn't. But I do.
I admit...I am feeling weary, beaten down and at the end of my rope. I do love my family, my mom has done a lot for me, sacrificed a lot to help me get to where I am now. But at times I feel so much pressure to be this person she wants me to be. And my father....well hes an alcoholic who is very skilled at guilting me.
I suppose all substance abusers are similar. If you grow up with them you learn certain behaviors that become a part of who you are. Like trying to cover up what they do..... you hide it from friends or others. You do this in part because you're ashamed and in part because you feel the need to take care of them. You sort of look out for them and that means keeping things looking normal...at least from the outside.
My dads family who knows what he is but never speaks of it openly, seems to expect me to suck it up. They seem to feel I should just accept or over look his behavior and the way that it makes me feel. They constantly ask me questions about my fathers health or his life that I have no answers to. They comment about how they rarely see me or hear from me and how I am not at enough family gatherings.
But do they ever once ask me why I'm not there? Whats happening that keeps me away? I'm not a heartless person. But I'm not a masochist either...Why would I continue to subject myself to situations that only cause me pain?
I suppose to an outsiders point of view it should be an easy choice right? The person or persons in question make you miserable so you write them off. But when that person is a parent its not that simple or that black and white.
Yes, I am an adult. I don't blame my parents or my childhood for the woman I am or the choices or mistakes I make. I realize that these are things I have to take responsibility for. This is my life...And yet....I cant seem to say no to these people. I wind up bending and even breaking to do things their way, even when their way twists my stomach up in knots.
So this year...after having to turn down plans with friends for the holidays that might have really been fun and made me happy in favor of other plans with my family, that I agreed to not because I wanted to so much, but because I didn't have the backbone to say no......I wound up spending the time alone anyway.
I am alone a lot since I moved to this city ...But when you go to school full time and work full time that rarely leaves time to do much of anything outside of sleeping....and while Im ok with being alone most of the time....frequently I still do feel lonely. But this was more than that....this felt like being hollow...empty inside.
The day after Christmas in an act of desperation...I even went to a place that I consider almost hell on earth...I went to the mall. I wasn't there to shop. I bought myself a coffee...sat on a bench and just watched people. The place was packed with after Christmas bargain shoppers and the roar of the all the voices was like white noise....it was nice to just drown out the thoughts that had been buzzing around in my head. For alittle while I didnt think about the guilt I was feeling about my family and my friends that I didn't and wouldn't see for the holidays.
I sat there and looked at the kids with the dreads down their back and wondered how long had it taken them to get them so long.... and the guy who had these really cool tattoos and I wondered what the story was behind them or was it just his art or the tiny girl who had purple streaks in her hair and who's clothes were sort of gothed out, I really liked her dress and watching her I realized I miss black nail polish..... then there were the moms and dads with kids of all ages or the people who were more preppy college types. I just watched them all and started wondering what these people were like in person and what their lives were like. I tried to imagine myself being friends with any of them...and I realized I probably could. That even the ones who were really unlike me on the outside might be the coolest most interesting ones to know. I wondered how it would feel to just be able to step away from my life and start a new one some place else.
But I am told that its not about your geographical location....its about finding a place inside you that you can live in and be happy. Maybe so...but still...what if?
Friday, January 01, 2010
Sunday, January 25, 2009
Hello World
Yes I know its been awhile. I'm sorry Ive neglected you. So how are you? Hows the family? Read any good books lately? Heard any music that has your heart pumping? What do you think about whats going on in the world right now?
In case you wondered, I'm doing fine. Still in school and on the deans list. Or I was until I hit a small academic pot hole called Math. It has been suggested that I might be mathematically challenged if you can believe that. But I'm not going to allow this to slow down my forward momentum...I feel fairly confident that given enough time and chocolate I will conquer this minor set back as well.
I did have a small epiphany of sorts...I just realized how now being mentally ready for school has made such a huge difference in the way I view the entire process. I know now that I made the right choice to wait. Had I started a couple of years ago, I might be farther along with my goals...But I don't think I would have gotten as much out of the experience as I am now.
I just recently had to purchase a new laptop. My old one, my favorite piece of technology and good friend to me, finally died a quick and silent death. Please observe a moment of silence now....May it rest in peace.
The new laptop is OK...but its new. I haven't quite gotten used to the foreign feeling of the key board..or the sounds it makes..and it has windows VISTA! I have to tell you, this was not a selling point in its favor. I do not care for this new version. In fact I will go as far as to say it BITES. However, I will concede that possibly the ill feelings I have for this Operating System are due to me being a creature of habit who enjoys the familiar. Not that I cant adapt to change..I can and I guess I will. But its not a change I would have taken willingly. So DAMN YOU Bill Gates! If its not broke stop trying to fix it.
On a national note...Gas prices have decreased along with interest rates...which would be a wonderful thing by themselves. Unfortunately in this case its merely a sign that our economy is sick and circling the bowl. Which in turn makes for a weaker dollar and a weaker nation....SO that sound you hear..that gurgle...that's the sound of our nation choking. And I'm not sure what it will take to breath life back into to it.
Yes I know...Its time for a change. Isn't that the mantra of the day? Well maybe it is time for changes to be made. Perhaps its time to do some house cleaning and get rid of the old school way of conducting business. And it seems as though the the vast majority seem to think since we have been free thinking and open enough as a nation to finally elect the first black American into the highest office this country can offer that we are all on the right track to make those changes. I'm not so sure.
I have many concerns about our new leader and I wont deny I didn't care for him as a candidate for president. I will concede that he has a charismatic way of speaking that draws people in...I'm just not quite convinced he is who he has portrayed himself to be. I have concerns that he like most others before him have spun a public persona that was intended to win the support of the public and get him into the oval office. Which worked...so what happens now?
I am not like so many others who would like to see him crash and burn. I don't want this because ultimately I know if he fails...then we as a country will fail too. And I want our country to recover and thrive. But I worry that to many see him as the political equivalent of the messiah...someone who will walk on water and turn the water into wine. I am concerned that we are putting to much emphasis on the fact he is a black man. As if this is going to change what he can do for us as a nation. I am concerned that this fact alone is a double edge sword. On one hand there will be those who put him under a microscope to dissect his every move in minute detail...and wait to pounce on each mistake. And then there will be those who think he can do no wrong and will make allowances and excuses for any bad behavior or wrong choice.
I am not blind to the historical significance of it all. But I am not swayed by the color of the mans skin either. Show me you can do the job. Show me you are a man of character. Then Ill support you all the way. But I have to be honest..so far you haven't shown me much in either of those departments. But I will wait and see like everyone else and hope for the best.
His choice of Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State didn't do much to sway me in his favor. He tapped a woman who not only has the most minimal experience and expertise internationally.....But also a woman who claimed she was met with sniper fire during her trip to Bosnia....when in fact the only thing she was greeted with was a small child with a flower. Her retelling of that story repetitively during her campaigning shows me she is not an honest individual. Not that I ever thought she was. But do we want someone like that as our Secretary of State?
I have to also wonder if this promotion was in anyway a response to Ms Clinton bringing her support and those voters that would have followed her to the Obama side of ticket? Washington has always been a city of favors done and favors given. We will see.
In case you wondered, I'm doing fine. Still in school and on the deans list. Or I was until I hit a small academic pot hole called Math. It has been suggested that I might be mathematically challenged if you can believe that. But I'm not going to allow this to slow down my forward momentum...I feel fairly confident that given enough time and chocolate I will conquer this minor set back as well.
I did have a small epiphany of sorts...I just realized how now being mentally ready for school has made such a huge difference in the way I view the entire process. I know now that I made the right choice to wait. Had I started a couple of years ago, I might be farther along with my goals...But I don't think I would have gotten as much out of the experience as I am now.
I just recently had to purchase a new laptop. My old one, my favorite piece of technology and good friend to me, finally died a quick and silent death. Please observe a moment of silence now....May it rest in peace.
The new laptop is OK...but its new. I haven't quite gotten used to the foreign feeling of the key board..or the sounds it makes..and it has windows VISTA! I have to tell you, this was not a selling point in its favor. I do not care for this new version. In fact I will go as far as to say it BITES. However, I will concede that possibly the ill feelings I have for this Operating System are due to me being a creature of habit who enjoys the familiar. Not that I cant adapt to change..I can and I guess I will. But its not a change I would have taken willingly. So DAMN YOU Bill Gates! If its not broke stop trying to fix it.
On a national note...Gas prices have decreased along with interest rates...which would be a wonderful thing by themselves. Unfortunately in this case its merely a sign that our economy is sick and circling the bowl. Which in turn makes for a weaker dollar and a weaker nation....SO that sound you hear..that gurgle...that's the sound of our nation choking. And I'm not sure what it will take to breath life back into to it.
Yes I know...Its time for a change. Isn't that the mantra of the day? Well maybe it is time for changes to be made. Perhaps its time to do some house cleaning and get rid of the old school way of conducting business. And it seems as though the the vast majority seem to think since we have been free thinking and open enough as a nation to finally elect the first black American into the highest office this country can offer that we are all on the right track to make those changes. I'm not so sure.
I have many concerns about our new leader and I wont deny I didn't care for him as a candidate for president. I will concede that he has a charismatic way of speaking that draws people in...I'm just not quite convinced he is who he has portrayed himself to be. I have concerns that he like most others before him have spun a public persona that was intended to win the support of the public and get him into the oval office. Which worked...so what happens now?
I am not like so many others who would like to see him crash and burn. I don't want this because ultimately I know if he fails...then we as a country will fail too. And I want our country to recover and thrive. But I worry that to many see him as the political equivalent of the messiah...someone who will walk on water and turn the water into wine. I am concerned that we are putting to much emphasis on the fact he is a black man. As if this is going to change what he can do for us as a nation. I am concerned that this fact alone is a double edge sword. On one hand there will be those who put him under a microscope to dissect his every move in minute detail...and wait to pounce on each mistake. And then there will be those who think he can do no wrong and will make allowances and excuses for any bad behavior or wrong choice.
I am not blind to the historical significance of it all. But I am not swayed by the color of the mans skin either. Show me you can do the job. Show me you are a man of character. Then Ill support you all the way. But I have to be honest..so far you haven't shown me much in either of those departments. But I will wait and see like everyone else and hope for the best.
His choice of Hillary Clinton as Secretary of State didn't do much to sway me in his favor. He tapped a woman who not only has the most minimal experience and expertise internationally.....But also a woman who claimed she was met with sniper fire during her trip to Bosnia....when in fact the only thing she was greeted with was a small child with a flower. Her retelling of that story repetitively during her campaigning shows me she is not an honest individual. Not that I ever thought she was. But do we want someone like that as our Secretary of State?
I have to also wonder if this promotion was in anyway a response to Ms Clinton bringing her support and those voters that would have followed her to the Obama side of ticket? Washington has always been a city of favors done and favors given. We will see.
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Dating, Sex and Singleness
I have no reason to complain...and this isn't really a complaint....more just thoughts written down.
Here I am almost 22. After a little struggle and much procrastination, Ive figured out a plan for my life. Well maybe not my entire life, but at least this part of it.
This year Ive moved from the parents house to a place of my own in a new city. Ive begun a new job...(one only meant to pay the bills and put a little cash in my pockets while in school) and was promoted soon after I began. Which while the job itself and the promotion isn't a huge deal....it will put a few more dollars in my weekly paychecks and that's always a good thing. I began going to a new University. I'm still in the early stages of my chosen program, but so far I'm making straight A's. Ive gotten a new puppy a few months ago...who at this moment is completely house broken and as it turns out is pretty smart. Everyone who meets him seems to fall in love with him, and that's sort of cool. Ive got some really great roommates we get along very well...and a small circle of close friends near and far that I'm grateful for. The parents have backed off a great deal, letting me stand on my own...but still remain supportive. That all in itself is a nice change.
So all in all...I'm moving in what could be considered a positive forward motion right? So why do I still feel so restless?
Ive never felt the need to follow the crowd, not being one of those type people who have to do it because everyone of my friends are doing it. But I have to admit when I look around and see people all around me in serious relationships, it makes me feel a little envious.
Ive never had a problem being single. Ive always been OK with being on my own and never felt the need to have to be dating someone continuously. Ive never felt the need to have an escort each time I go out. And its not even that I'm in envy of a certain situation or individual couple. I guess its just that, I am reminded of what it felt like to have someone significant in my life. To have that feeling of closeness and connection with another person. I think that's what I'm missing.
But since I'm not dating and haven't been for well over a year or so....it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out where I'm going wrong does it? Girl wants someone in her life, so girl needs to date in order to find that someone who fits that life. Seems so simple and its generally how its done I'm told. The thing is I don't feel like the situations or people out there make me feel like I want to take that step.
A long distance friend of mine and I were talking and he made the statement that he couldn't understand why I wasn't being pursued or asked out. He asked if there was something wrong with American guys? No...there isn't I guess...I suppose they are probably like guys anywhere. And I told him that it wasn't a case of not being asked...it was more one of me not accepting those invitations. So the fact that I am in this situation at all is of my own making. I know this...and again I'm not complaining.
But I do wonder if maybe I'm just backwards in my thinking. Maybe its not my situation, but my expectations of what I want that are off base. I used to think that if I were patient and waited, it would just happen on its own. But now I'm honestly not so sure. What if I'm wrong?
Ive always believed you cant go out and replace someone you were in love with. It doesn't work that way. You cant fill a void left by one person by trying to recreate that feeling with another. (or at least I cant) And a lot of times it feels as though people want to hurry to quickly into making a serious relationship out of an early infatuation. They barely know someone before they are professing their love and talking of a future. How can you say the words "I love you" to someone you barely know? Most of the time you haven't had enough time to find out if you can even like them long term let alone love them. Isn't love something you discover about them as time goes on and you see who they are?
Not to mention, Do I really want a guy who tells each and every girl he dates hes in love with her? How then can I be sure that if and when he says it to me it is different or that I am different to him than all the others that came before me? And if you say those words to everyone you date doesn't it lessen their importance and significance? It seems as if it would almost desensitise the real value of what that all is supposed to mean.
Then there is sex. Not something I'm opposed to. But not something I feel I want to do with each guy I go on a date with either. Although that does seem to be the way its done now. Its seen as just sex, and isn't supposed to be more or mean more than that....The thing is....if I don't care enough about you to be able to say I love you to you, then how can I share the rest of myself with you? Maybe it boils down to not thinking it out that far"? Maybe I'm not supposed to be thinking of what the consequences or where it goes after...just of enjoying the moment? Is it all just live and let live?
And I have to wonder....if I abandon my previous thinking...and I just follow the new tide...will I really find what it is I really want. Which is something real, that feeling...that connection that one person who knows me inside and out.
One day several months ago the same friend who had asked me about dating and I were having one of those really great talks about anything and everything...And out of the blue he gave me a really great compliment....He said "You know Jen, you really are an exceptional girl, really very genuine". Knowing him, I'm sure he didn't mean anything significant by saying this...it was just a simple observation during the course of one conversation. But to me it meant a lot. Because in a world where it sometimes feels more important as to what I am...he maybe every so briefly saw who I am.
And who knows....if he could see something....maybe someone else will take the time to as well.
Here I am almost 22. After a little struggle and much procrastination, Ive figured out a plan for my life. Well maybe not my entire life, but at least this part of it.
This year Ive moved from the parents house to a place of my own in a new city. Ive begun a new job...(one only meant to pay the bills and put a little cash in my pockets while in school) and was promoted soon after I began. Which while the job itself and the promotion isn't a huge deal....it will put a few more dollars in my weekly paychecks and that's always a good thing. I began going to a new University. I'm still in the early stages of my chosen program, but so far I'm making straight A's. Ive gotten a new puppy a few months ago...who at this moment is completely house broken and as it turns out is pretty smart. Everyone who meets him seems to fall in love with him, and that's sort of cool. Ive got some really great roommates we get along very well...and a small circle of close friends near and far that I'm grateful for. The parents have backed off a great deal, letting me stand on my own...but still remain supportive. That all in itself is a nice change.
So all in all...I'm moving in what could be considered a positive forward motion right? So why do I still feel so restless?
Ive never felt the need to follow the crowd, not being one of those type people who have to do it because everyone of my friends are doing it. But I have to admit when I look around and see people all around me in serious relationships, it makes me feel a little envious.
Ive never had a problem being single. Ive always been OK with being on my own and never felt the need to have to be dating someone continuously. Ive never felt the need to have an escort each time I go out. And its not even that I'm in envy of a certain situation or individual couple. I guess its just that, I am reminded of what it felt like to have someone significant in my life. To have that feeling of closeness and connection with another person. I think that's what I'm missing.
But since I'm not dating and haven't been for well over a year or so....it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out where I'm going wrong does it? Girl wants someone in her life, so girl needs to date in order to find that someone who fits that life. Seems so simple and its generally how its done I'm told. The thing is I don't feel like the situations or people out there make me feel like I want to take that step.
A long distance friend of mine and I were talking and he made the statement that he couldn't understand why I wasn't being pursued or asked out. He asked if there was something wrong with American guys? No...there isn't I guess...I suppose they are probably like guys anywhere. And I told him that it wasn't a case of not being asked...it was more one of me not accepting those invitations. So the fact that I am in this situation at all is of my own making. I know this...and again I'm not complaining.
But I do wonder if maybe I'm just backwards in my thinking. Maybe its not my situation, but my expectations of what I want that are off base. I used to think that if I were patient and waited, it would just happen on its own. But now I'm honestly not so sure. What if I'm wrong?
Ive always believed you cant go out and replace someone you were in love with. It doesn't work that way. You cant fill a void left by one person by trying to recreate that feeling with another. (or at least I cant) And a lot of times it feels as though people want to hurry to quickly into making a serious relationship out of an early infatuation. They barely know someone before they are professing their love and talking of a future. How can you say the words "I love you" to someone you barely know? Most of the time you haven't had enough time to find out if you can even like them long term let alone love them. Isn't love something you discover about them as time goes on and you see who they are?
Not to mention, Do I really want a guy who tells each and every girl he dates hes in love with her? How then can I be sure that if and when he says it to me it is different or that I am different to him than all the others that came before me? And if you say those words to everyone you date doesn't it lessen their importance and significance? It seems as if it would almost desensitise the real value of what that all is supposed to mean.
Then there is sex. Not something I'm opposed to. But not something I feel I want to do with each guy I go on a date with either. Although that does seem to be the way its done now. Its seen as just sex, and isn't supposed to be more or mean more than that....The thing is....if I don't care enough about you to be able to say I love you to you, then how can I share the rest of myself with you? Maybe it boils down to not thinking it out that far"? Maybe I'm not supposed to be thinking of what the consequences or where it goes after...just of enjoying the moment? Is it all just live and let live?
And I have to wonder....if I abandon my previous thinking...and I just follow the new tide...will I really find what it is I really want. Which is something real, that feeling...that connection that one person who knows me inside and out.
One day several months ago the same friend who had asked me about dating and I were having one of those really great talks about anything and everything...And out of the blue he gave me a really great compliment....He said "You know Jen, you really are an exceptional girl, really very genuine". Knowing him, I'm sure he didn't mean anything significant by saying this...it was just a simple observation during the course of one conversation. But to me it meant a lot. Because in a world where it sometimes feels more important as to what I am...he maybe every so briefly saw who I am.
And who knows....if he could see something....maybe someone else will take the time to as well.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
License To Procreate
I posted last about a 47 year old father who thought it would be a good idea to provide his 15 year old son with some heavy duty prescription drugs, because he felt he needed to teach his son how to "party right" His son later died of accidental overdose.
The suggestion was made that maybe we need to require someone to have a license to be able to become a parent? We are required to have licenses for a great many other things in life. Things like driving a car, getting married, practicing medicine, selling alcohol, carrying a gun....even cutting hair or owning a pet requires a license.
So when it comes to something as important as raising a child into a healthy adult should we need a license for that too?
I SAY NO!
I will be the first to say that stories like the one above, where parents are clearly not parenting. They make me angry, beyond angry. I think if you want to screw up your life as an adult. SO be it..go for it. You wont be alone, there will be plenty of other losers out there in the world who are also tossing their lives away just like you are to keep you company. At least until you are useless to them....because people like that are usually only there as long as the party lasts...after that they are vapor.
But when there is a kid involved. Then, its no longer OK. It doesn't matter what you want. It only matters whats best for your child. END OF STORY.
But does this mean that a license to be a parent is the answer?
NO, I don't think it is.
First of all, its not the job of the government to guide us as parents nor should they dictate to us whether we can become parents. And if we do give them that sort of control, then what? Do they then also tell us what type of discipline we can administer as parents? Do they get to tell us what programs our children can view, what movies and music, what time they have to be in bed at night, what type of foods they can or cant eat? OK maybe that sounds a bit extreme. But the point its its not a governments job to raise our kids. Its OUR job and we need to start taking it more seriously.
Lets go one step further.....who is going to make sure this license system is enforced? Do we have parent police then? Do we stop new parents at the hospital doors and ask....let me see your license before you can take your child home? Do we deny patient care for pregnant women who cant prove they have the proper paper work?
Then we also have to ask...HOW DO WE MONITOR SEXUAL ACTIVITY? Because bottom line..that's what we are talking about here. We have to have a way to keep people from reproducing before they are able to be licensed to do so. Is that really the way we want this to go?
It was said that children are treated as property.....No children aren't property. But to consider giving ANYONE but the parent the right to determine what is or isn't best for their child isn't a good idea either. Government isn't the answer for every ill we suffer in society.....We shouldn't be making more laws or rules we dont have the means to enforce.
It all comes down to a question of adult responsibility doesn't it? For those parents who cant be bothered to pay attention to where your kids are or what they are doing.....who think its better to be your kids pal, or party buddy....... Put down the beer in your hand get off your lazy butts and realize that you are the one who is supposed to be setting the example for your kids. Its time to raise the bar instead of sitting in one, its time to start being adults....to stop being the big spoiled, irresponsible, self centered children in adults clothing.
Grow the hell up, your kids actually need you.
The suggestion was made that maybe we need to require someone to have a license to be able to become a parent? We are required to have licenses for a great many other things in life. Things like driving a car, getting married, practicing medicine, selling alcohol, carrying a gun....even cutting hair or owning a pet requires a license.
So when it comes to something as important as raising a child into a healthy adult should we need a license for that too?
I SAY NO!
I will be the first to say that stories like the one above, where parents are clearly not parenting. They make me angry, beyond angry. I think if you want to screw up your life as an adult. SO be it..go for it. You wont be alone, there will be plenty of other losers out there in the world who are also tossing their lives away just like you are to keep you company. At least until you are useless to them....because people like that are usually only there as long as the party lasts...after that they are vapor.
But when there is a kid involved. Then, its no longer OK. It doesn't matter what you want. It only matters whats best for your child. END OF STORY.
But does this mean that a license to be a parent is the answer?
NO, I don't think it is.
First of all, its not the job of the government to guide us as parents nor should they dictate to us whether we can become parents. And if we do give them that sort of control, then what? Do they then also tell us what type of discipline we can administer as parents? Do they get to tell us what programs our children can view, what movies and music, what time they have to be in bed at night, what type of foods they can or cant eat? OK maybe that sounds a bit extreme. But the point its its not a governments job to raise our kids. Its OUR job and we need to start taking it more seriously.
Lets go one step further.....who is going to make sure this license system is enforced? Do we have parent police then? Do we stop new parents at the hospital doors and ask....let me see your license before you can take your child home? Do we deny patient care for pregnant women who cant prove they have the proper paper work?
Then we also have to ask...HOW DO WE MONITOR SEXUAL ACTIVITY? Because bottom line..that's what we are talking about here. We have to have a way to keep people from reproducing before they are able to be licensed to do so. Is that really the way we want this to go?
It was said that children are treated as property.....No children aren't property. But to consider giving ANYONE but the parent the right to determine what is or isn't best for their child isn't a good idea either. Government isn't the answer for every ill we suffer in society.....We shouldn't be making more laws or rules we dont have the means to enforce.
It all comes down to a question of adult responsibility doesn't it? For those parents who cant be bothered to pay attention to where your kids are or what they are doing.....who think its better to be your kids pal, or party buddy....... Put down the beer in your hand get off your lazy butts and realize that you are the one who is supposed to be setting the example for your kids. Its time to raise the bar instead of sitting in one, its time to start being adults....to stop being the big spoiled, irresponsible, self centered children in adults clothing.
Grow the hell up, your kids actually need you.
Sunday, August 03, 2008
Better to be Raised by Wolves
I honestly believe some people would have been better off being raised by wolves. This is a good example of such a situation.
A 47 year old father and I use the term "father" loosely...since it only applies to the mans biology and not his parenting skills....A 47 year old father gave his 15 year old son some powerful prescription drugs because he wanted to show the boy how to "party right".
This genius who was arrested on Friday is now being charged with third degree murder in the death of his son who died of an accidental overdose in June. According to witnesses the "father" had showed his son how to crush up and snort pills like oxycodone and the heroin substitute methadone.
What an incredible father-son bonding moment that must have been. How proud he must be knowing he was able to show his 15 year old son how to party like a rock star right before he died.
The father who had originally told police he kept those medications locked up so no one could get to them was caught on tape later telling another story to his sons friends....where he said he admittedly gave the drugs to his son to teach him how to party.
I realize that there are certain criteria that they follow to determine the degree of murder a person is charged with....But I say this guy is being cut to much slack. I think third degree murder is too good for him. IN FACT....this is one of those situations I say we forgo the trial formality completely and just strap him in a chair and throw the switch. In fact in this particular case Id volunteer to do it.
Maybe that might sound harsh to some...But this is the way I see it. You come into this world not of your own making. Your PARENTS choices are what bring you into being. At the moment of birth you are still given no choices of your own...You are still completely dependant on your parents for your care and your total survival. It is they you count on for food, shelter and protection from the outside world. But when a parent betrays that by abusing the child, verbally, sexually, physically or morally...then at that point the parent is no better than the monsters that they are supposed to be keeping at bay.
I realize that some people might have had less than idyllic childhoods....BUT there does come a point in time where you have to become an adult, making adult choices and no longer blame your parents poor choices for the person you have chosen to be......However at 15 you still don't yet have all the skills it takes to make those choices.
This man doesn't deserve mercy. I have none for him. And if there is a hell I hope he rots in it.
A 47 year old father and I use the term "father" loosely...since it only applies to the mans biology and not his parenting skills....A 47 year old father gave his 15 year old son some powerful prescription drugs because he wanted to show the boy how to "party right".
This genius who was arrested on Friday is now being charged with third degree murder in the death of his son who died of an accidental overdose in June. According to witnesses the "father" had showed his son how to crush up and snort pills like oxycodone and the heroin substitute methadone.
What an incredible father-son bonding moment that must have been. How proud he must be knowing he was able to show his 15 year old son how to party like a rock star right before he died.
The father who had originally told police he kept those medications locked up so no one could get to them was caught on tape later telling another story to his sons friends....where he said he admittedly gave the drugs to his son to teach him how to party.
I realize that there are certain criteria that they follow to determine the degree of murder a person is charged with....But I say this guy is being cut to much slack. I think third degree murder is too good for him. IN FACT....this is one of those situations I say we forgo the trial formality completely and just strap him in a chair and throw the switch. In fact in this particular case Id volunteer to do it.
Maybe that might sound harsh to some...But this is the way I see it. You come into this world not of your own making. Your PARENTS choices are what bring you into being. At the moment of birth you are still given no choices of your own...You are still completely dependant on your parents for your care and your total survival. It is they you count on for food, shelter and protection from the outside world. But when a parent betrays that by abusing the child, verbally, sexually, physically or morally...then at that point the parent is no better than the monsters that they are supposed to be keeping at bay.
I realize that some people might have had less than idyllic childhoods....BUT there does come a point in time where you have to become an adult, making adult choices and no longer blame your parents poor choices for the person you have chosen to be......However at 15 you still don't yet have all the skills it takes to make those choices.
This man doesn't deserve mercy. I have none for him. And if there is a hell I hope he rots in it.
Monday, July 28, 2008
The Separation Of Church And Sex
I admit its been a while since Ive been to church. So its quite possible things have changed a bit since my last visit. I was raised mostly by Southern Baptists who as a rule frown on any type of activity that might be considered fun. Which pretty much rules out everything except for the occasional fried chicken dinner. I do know that while I was going on a regular basis, I don't recall the subject of sex ever being discussed. Unless maybe it was in reference to one of the "Thou Shalt Nots"...or the random bible story. So imagine my surprise when I read an article about several churches across the country openly speaking to their congregants about sex. Not just speaking to them.....but encouraging open discussion about topics such as oral sex, full body massage and the joys of role play.
(These people obviously aren't Southern Baptists)
The clergy who are involved in opening up these discussions state that having a strong united faith as a couple isn't enough. That a good sexual connection is just as important to the health and strength of the marriage. So they are encouraging their congregations to not just have sex, but to have lots of it.
(Do I hear an amen on this one?)
These same church's further promote this type of open discussion by holding seminars about these topics, using biblical dialogue such as Genesis 2:24 which says "A man shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be of one flesh" to illustrate this thinking. With names for their seminars like The 30 Day Sex Challenge " or "The 40 Nights of Grrreat Sex" couples were given daily planners, where a typical week would be as follows:
"Sun: Worship together"
"Mon: Give your wife a full body massage"
"Tues: Quickie in any room besides the bedroom"
"Wed: Pleasure your partner"
"Thurs: Read 1 Corinthians 7 --How can I please you more?" ........... and so on and so on.
Now I'm not sure what to think about this new open thinking happening in church. I do agree that a couple needs to be on the same page with a lot of issues such as...money, faith, family and of course sex. And YES I completely agree that a strong and healthy intimate relationship makes a couple closer and maybe better able to relate to each other about the day to day issues.
But I'm not sure Id feel comfortable speaking to my minister about the most personal intimate details of my life....The thought of that talk just creeps me out. Of course that could be the Southern Baptist "anything fun is sinful" coming out in me. *grin*
Having said that, I have to say that had there been a few of these sorts of talks in church when I was going...it would have made all those hours of sitting on those hard wooden pews a little more bearable......
Throw in a little chocolate with that...and you wouldn't have been able to pry me out of church with a crowbar.
Can I get an Amen?
*smile*
Monday, July 07, 2008
Environmentally Incorrect
"So kill the polar bears and nuke the penguins? That's your plan Jen"?
NOOOOO...don't be silly... of course not. I have no issues with the polar bears...But I think you give me far too much credit for having the kind of power it takes to "NUKE" something......If I were going to nuke the penguins, I would have done so when that annoying movie Happy Feet came out. Unless.... when you say "nuke" you are referring to act of microwaving. Then who knows, maybe with the right dipping sauce and side dishes.......I bet they'd taste yummy, just like chicken.
Maybe I am a little environmentally incorrect. So what...get over it! It doesn't mean that I don't care about the world around me. I do understand we only have one planet..and our survival is dependant on the planets survival. I can understand the balance created by the food chain...and I realize that if we knock the stool out from under ourselves by destroying those smaller links in the chain...then we, those who are at the top of that same food chain will be the ones left twisting in the wind.
I was raised in a small rural farming community. Ive seen many examples through out my life of what we get from this planet and what it means to be responsible for it. Growing up most of my friends were country kids who worked on family farms for summer jobs...Picking or planting peanuts, watermelon and tobacco. I know some of our local farmers have even been honored on a national level for using farming practices that are not only land friendly but provide habitat to local wild life. My grand parents have always had a huge vegetable garden and put up (canned) everything they grow. I have been lucky to be able to experience and see first hand what it means to conserve and value what you get from the land.
So YES I get it. I understand that conservation is not just a question of what we WANT to do but what we NEED to do.
Having said that, I also know growing up the way I have, in a small rural community where the economy can be sometimes rather slow, that most of us don't have unlimited resources. That most families live paycheck to paycheck. While being environmentally conscious is obviously desirable..its not always economically practical. And economics is the biggest motivator of change. Like it or not..that is the way it is.
We as people might feel a tug at our hearts when we see those polar bears...or the rain forests being burned...But those are only images for most people and day to day are out of sight out of mind. The things that get to us on a daily basis are those things we are forced to deal with because they are a part of our lives, such as the rising cost at the gas pumps. When you are already living a life where every dollar is spoken for...that can leave you with little to no room left to move.
So even though our social conscience might be telling us that being environmentally friendly is the best way to go, We still have to ask ourselves is it economically realistic? How many people can really afford Hybrid cars? Yes they are better for the environment...but out of the eight or so manufactures that currently have a hybrid available....only two are under $20,000. dollars. That means most are out of the price range of average families. And what about those new "green" light bulbs....Sure they will cut down on the amount of energy required to use them, thus maybe saving a little money long term. But the cost to upgrade to these new bulbs isn't done cheaply. Bulbs cost an average of $30 each, multiply that by say a 6 to 10 light fixtures or lamps per home. In my home alone I counted 9 which equaled a cost of $ 270. That might not seem like much to some, but when times are tight..which they are for a great many people....things such as light bulbs that aren't a necessity can be done without.
Which brings me to another point....when those same bulbs burn out...and they eventually do. You cant just dispose of them like other bulbs. They contain mercury...and have to be disposed of accordingly. To me it makes little sense to create something that is more energy efficient...and environmentally friendlier to use...and then make it out of materials that will eventually be toxic to dispose of?
I'm sure there are those who wont agree with me on this, but its seems to me like this is a simple math problem. A family only gets X number of dollars each month. Each of those dollars is allocated to certain basic needs.....food, clothing, mortgages or rent, utility bills, car payments, insurances, medical expenses....etc. Just the normal things that the average family has to deal with. When the cost of gas rises...its not just about what it costs to a family to drive. Doesn't it also increase the cost of food and clothing and many other products? Which could mean that same family going without some of the basics let alone being able to afford any of the extras that they want.
So maybe it seems environmentally incorrect of me to focus less on the land and animals who inhabit this planet with us and more on the economic and political side of what it means to rid ourselves of our addiction to fossil fuels. But I feel if you want people to care enough to take action and make real significant changes quickly....then it has to be about the things they deal with and relate to in their day to day lives.
NOOOOO...don't be silly... of course not. I have no issues with the polar bears...But I think you give me far too much credit for having the kind of power it takes to "NUKE" something......If I were going to nuke the penguins, I would have done so when that annoying movie Happy Feet came out. Unless.... when you say "nuke" you are referring to act of microwaving. Then who knows, maybe with the right dipping sauce and side dishes.......I bet they'd taste yummy, just like chicken.
Maybe I am a little environmentally incorrect. So what...get over it! It doesn't mean that I don't care about the world around me. I do understand we only have one planet..and our survival is dependant on the planets survival. I can understand the balance created by the food chain...and I realize that if we knock the stool out from under ourselves by destroying those smaller links in the chain...then we, those who are at the top of that same food chain will be the ones left twisting in the wind.
I was raised in a small rural farming community. Ive seen many examples through out my life of what we get from this planet and what it means to be responsible for it. Growing up most of my friends were country kids who worked on family farms for summer jobs...Picking or planting peanuts, watermelon and tobacco. I know some of our local farmers have even been honored on a national level for using farming practices that are not only land friendly but provide habitat to local wild life. My grand parents have always had a huge vegetable garden and put up (canned) everything they grow. I have been lucky to be able to experience and see first hand what it means to conserve and value what you get from the land.
So YES I get it. I understand that conservation is not just a question of what we WANT to do but what we NEED to do.
Having said that, I also know growing up the way I have, in a small rural community where the economy can be sometimes rather slow, that most of us don't have unlimited resources. That most families live paycheck to paycheck. While being environmentally conscious is obviously desirable..its not always economically practical. And economics is the biggest motivator of change. Like it or not..that is the way it is.
We as people might feel a tug at our hearts when we see those polar bears...or the rain forests being burned...But those are only images for most people and day to day are out of sight out of mind. The things that get to us on a daily basis are those things we are forced to deal with because they are a part of our lives, such as the rising cost at the gas pumps. When you are already living a life where every dollar is spoken for...that can leave you with little to no room left to move.
So even though our social conscience might be telling us that being environmentally friendly is the best way to go, We still have to ask ourselves is it economically realistic? How many people can really afford Hybrid cars? Yes they are better for the environment...but out of the eight or so manufactures that currently have a hybrid available....only two are under $20,000. dollars. That means most are out of the price range of average families. And what about those new "green" light bulbs....Sure they will cut down on the amount of energy required to use them, thus maybe saving a little money long term. But the cost to upgrade to these new bulbs isn't done cheaply. Bulbs cost an average of $30 each, multiply that by say a 6 to 10 light fixtures or lamps per home. In my home alone I counted 9 which equaled a cost of $ 270. That might not seem like much to some, but when times are tight..which they are for a great many people....things such as light bulbs that aren't a necessity can be done without.
Which brings me to another point....when those same bulbs burn out...and they eventually do. You cant just dispose of them like other bulbs. They contain mercury...and have to be disposed of accordingly. To me it makes little sense to create something that is more energy efficient...and environmentally friendlier to use...and then make it out of materials that will eventually be toxic to dispose of?
I'm sure there are those who wont agree with me on this, but its seems to me like this is a simple math problem. A family only gets X number of dollars each month. Each of those dollars is allocated to certain basic needs.....food, clothing, mortgages or rent, utility bills, car payments, insurances, medical expenses....etc. Just the normal things that the average family has to deal with. When the cost of gas rises...its not just about what it costs to a family to drive. Doesn't it also increase the cost of food and clothing and many other products? Which could mean that same family going without some of the basics let alone being able to afford any of the extras that they want.
So maybe it seems environmentally incorrect of me to focus less on the land and animals who inhabit this planet with us and more on the economic and political side of what it means to rid ourselves of our addiction to fossil fuels. But I feel if you want people to care enough to take action and make real significant changes quickly....then it has to be about the things they deal with and relate to in their day to day lives.
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Breaking The Ties That Bind US
I will be the first to admit I am a slave to fossil fuels. I drive therefore I must endure that rising cost of gas. Obviously no one enjoys paying more at the gas pumps, I know I certainly don't. But is the answer to this problem more drilling?
It has been suggested that we now re think our stand on future oil wells in Alaska and off shore in the Gulf of Mexico. The reasoning behind this of course is that it will give some relief to the American consumer at the gas pump, But will it really?
I SAY NO! This isn't about jumping on the Al Gore green is clean band wagon. Its about economics and politics. We as a nation have become entirely too dependant on resources that we can only obtain in quantity from other countries. Countries that have governments who for the most part don't care for us as a nation or who's own government is unstable or in constant turmoil. And yet.....here we are continuing to pay the ever rising price to purchase the fuel we need from them. Does this make any sense to anyone?
Yes I admit we do need this fuel to function, but being at the mercy of the current suppliers to fill those needs isn't in our best interests long term. And isn't that what we should be looking at here the long term bigger picture?
Fossil fuels while plentiful in other parts of the world are not so in this country. And this is not a renewable resource...so once its gone its gone for good. The limited supplies still to be found in the United States are not enough to sustain our country's needs long term. And by the time we harvested this fuel, refined it and were actually able to make it available to the public the amount of help it would provide us economically would be extremely minimal at best. Amounting to only a few cents at the gas pumps.
Is a few penny's really worth possible harm to our environment? Again...this isn't about green is clean, tree hugging, kiss the polar bears thinking. But this is the place we live. If we screw it up we don't get a second chance...and where else would we go?
The fact is we want to become more independent as a country, then we need to break our need for fossil fuel. If we want to continue to have a clean living environment, we need to break our need for fossil fuel. If we want to reduce the costs and help our economy WE NEED TO BREAK OUR NEED OF FOSSIL FUELS. Does anyone see a pattern here?
Continued drilling in this country will only amount to providing a small band aid on much bigger issue. And its not even a band aid that will stop the bleeding. We need to look past the immediate wants and needs and look for a more long term solution to this problem.
We as a nation have some of the best minds in the world. We have a society and and a way of life that is rivaled by none. You can not tell me that a country as advanced and as great as this one can not come up with a better plan than that of Oil to fill the energy needs of our people. I'm sorry but I just don't buy it and neither should you.
So what as a voter, as consumer and as citizen of this country can we do about this. To be honest I don't know. It seems that as long as those in power want us to continue with the status quo...there is little we can do but ride it out. But for those who's concerns are more financially motivated and for those reasons alone do not wish to lose their grasp on Oil...I say this: There is money to be made in alternative energy sources for those willing to step outside the box and pioneer it.
As a nation and as a people it makes sense politically and economically to break these ties that bind us. Isn't it time that someone stepped up to the plate and said ENOUGH?
Sunday, June 22, 2008
A Thong Gone Wrong...
I have no problem with a woman wanting to feel sexy. In fact if you have the body for it.....and your comfortable with yourself.....wear whatever you like as far as under clothing goes. But please....please for the love of all that's holy......If you don't understand how to operate them...please leave them to those that do.
For those of you who might have missed it....Victoria's Secret is being sued by a 52 year old women who claims while putting on her thong...a metal piece from the underwear popped off hitting her in the eye causing damage to her cornea.
I realize that some intimate apparel out there can be a bit tricky to put on. There are hooks straps and zippers...etc. Sometimes knowing what goes where is a challenge. But I cant see how anyone can be confused on how to wear a thong. Especially the one she had issue with. The material in it is no bigger than a postage stamp...and the rest of it is only string. Its doesn't take a rocket scientist to put it on.
Besides if you have to stretch your thong so tightly that it becomes a sling shot, making the little rhinestone decorations deadly projectiles......You might want to rethink your underwear choices.
In a country where we now have to label everything because if we don't we get sued...I wonder how Victoria's going to handle this one....The warning label alone will be larger than the underwear its suppose to represent.
"WARNING....THIS UNDERWEAR MIGHT BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH. So either keep your eyes closed or your big butt out of it".
While I'm sure its not the first time some of the Victoria's Secret underwear has caused vision issues.....Those were usually not associated with the person wearing the underwear. And in most of those cases you rarely hear about anyone complaining. However in this case...it seems to me more like its an owner/operator issue than a manufactures one.
I understand that today 50 is considered the new 40 and women are behaving and feeling younger. But this woman was older than my mom...who while I love her dearly, the thought of her wearing a thong is enough to send me to therapy for a very long time.
So Miss (whatever your name was).....do yourself a favor, go out and buy some sensible underwear...the right size......something without any sort of decorations that might at some point pop off,impaling you and cause some permanent damage. AND PLEASE stop blaming Victoria Secret for your screw up.
REMEMBER money is no substitute for love.......and after all the press your getting, I kind of doubt your going to be getting much of either.
For those of you who might have missed it....Victoria's Secret is being sued by a 52 year old women who claims while putting on her thong...a metal piece from the underwear popped off hitting her in the eye causing damage to her cornea.
I realize that some intimate apparel out there can be a bit tricky to put on. There are hooks straps and zippers...etc. Sometimes knowing what goes where is a challenge. But I cant see how anyone can be confused on how to wear a thong. Especially the one she had issue with. The material in it is no bigger than a postage stamp...and the rest of it is only string. Its doesn't take a rocket scientist to put it on.
Besides if you have to stretch your thong so tightly that it becomes a sling shot, making the little rhinestone decorations deadly projectiles......You might want to rethink your underwear choices.
In a country where we now have to label everything because if we don't we get sued...I wonder how Victoria's going to handle this one....The warning label alone will be larger than the underwear its suppose to represent.
"WARNING....THIS UNDERWEAR MIGHT BE HAZARDOUS TO YOUR HEALTH. So either keep your eyes closed or your big butt out of it".
While I'm sure its not the first time some of the Victoria's Secret underwear has caused vision issues.....Those were usually not associated with the person wearing the underwear. And in most of those cases you rarely hear about anyone complaining. However in this case...it seems to me more like its an owner/operator issue than a manufactures one.
I understand that today 50 is considered the new 40 and women are behaving and feeling younger. But this woman was older than my mom...who while I love her dearly, the thought of her wearing a thong is enough to send me to therapy for a very long time.
So Miss (whatever your name was).....do yourself a favor, go out and buy some sensible underwear...the right size......something without any sort of decorations that might at some point pop off,impaling you and cause some permanent damage. AND PLEASE stop blaming Victoria Secret for your screw up.
REMEMBER money is no substitute for love.......and after all the press your getting, I kind of doubt your going to be getting much of either.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Do Not Follow Blindly
All I ask is that we do not behave like sheep. That we see the entire picture and then act accordingly. But we cannot do that if we don't have all the facts and cant see things from all sides. I make no secret of my dislike for Barack Obama as a candidate for the office of president. I don't want this man as our leader. I don't trust him. I think he has hidden agendas which do not and will not serve the American people.
And contrary to what his long time friend and former spiritual advisor Reverend Jeremiah Wright would like you to believe....My dislike for the man does not stem from the color of his skin or his religious preferences or that of his families. My dislike is based on the simple fact that the man is not what hes selling the American public.
Obama's Uncle shown here with Obamas grandmother who has been a prisoner in his own home, trapped by post election violence that has left more than 600 Kenyans dead.....said "If Barack Obama were elected, he would improve relations between Africa and America because he had his roots in Africa".
Malik Obama, older brother of Barack , holds an undated picture of Barak, left, and himself, middle, and an unidentified friend in his shop in eastern Kenya. By Karel Prinsloo, AP
Barack here showing his support for Luo Raila Odinga (Opposition Leader in Kenya who signed a "Shariah pact" with Muslims and claims to be Obama's cousin) He is married to Ida Odinga, they have four children - two sons and two daughters. His oldest son, Fidel, is named after Fidel Castro.
Barack's father, hard-drinker, raised Muslim.....Was married three times, also attended Harvard and then returned to Kenya. Obama claims he was an atheist, but was given a Muslim burial at Baracks family's request.
A young Barack shown here with mother Stanley Ann Dunham. In his own autobiography Obama writes, "How and when the marriage occurred remains a bit murky, a bill of particulars that I have never quite had the courage to explore". Fair enough...No ones family tree is without a few shaky branches. (His father was still married to his first wife Kezia in Kenya at the time.)
Obamas Father and Mother together during his fathers only visit to Hawaii while Obama lived there. Obama with his father on the same visit to Hawaii
In this photo Baracks mothers second husband Lolo Soetoro (Indonesian Muslim), their daughter Maya, and Barack.
Abandoned by his father and shipped off by his mother to his grand parents, Barry Soetero becomes Barack Hussein Obama. Obama would describe his grandparents as "white folk". ( His words not mine.) I would have described them as a decent man and woman who didn't abandon their grandson.
Here Barack stands behind Kezia (stepmother) in a Kenyan family shot. Including brother Abongo 'Roy' Obama who is a Luo activist and a militant Muslim, who argues that "the black man must liberate himself from the poisoning influences of European culture"
And contrary to what his long time friend and former spiritual advisor Reverend Jeremiah Wright would like you to believe....My dislike for the man does not stem from the color of his skin or his religious preferences or that of his families. My dislike is based on the simple fact that the man is not what hes selling the American public.
From the outside he seems like a little slice of politically packaged heaven. He is educated...(a Harvard grad) Which means hes intelligent. Enough so that hes cleverly and charismatically wooed a large number of potential voters. Hes young, and well dressed, has a beautiful wife and children...which makes him look like a hip yet traditional version of the American dream. Hes well spoken which has definitely been a plus in his ability to hypnotize everyone who listens to him.
But all that is a shell game. Its not who this man is. Its who he wants you to see. He is like a magician who directs your eye in one way...while moving his hands in another. But just as with all magicians.....there is no real magic to his tricks...Its all slight of hand. And if you know the secrets...the trick is exposed.
I do not believe a man is just one isolated incident. He is the sum total of all his experiences. He is who he associates himself with. He is who he listens to for council. How he conducts himself past present and future. So lets look at other aspects of Mr Obama the man and possible future President of the United States.
This is Grandmother, Sarah Hussein Onyango Obama. Proudly pointing to an "Obama 08" bumper sticker.
Obama's Uncle shown here with Obamas grandmother who has been a prisoner in his own home, trapped by post election violence that has left more than 600 Kenyans dead.....said "If Barack Obama were elected, he would improve relations between Africa and America because he had his roots in Africa". 
Malik Obama, older brother of Barack , holds an undated picture of Barak, left, and himself, middle, and an unidentified friend in his shop in eastern Kenya. By Karel Prinsloo, AP
Barack here showing his support for Luo Raila Odinga (Opposition Leader in Kenya who signed a "Shariah pact" with Muslims and claims to be Obama's cousin) He is married to Ida Odinga, they have four children - two sons and two daughters. His oldest son, Fidel, is named after Fidel Castro.
Barack's father, hard-drinker, raised Muslim.....Was married three times, also attended Harvard and then returned to Kenya. Obama claims he was an atheist, but was given a Muslim burial at Baracks family's request.
A young Barack shown here with mother Stanley Ann Dunham. In his own autobiography Obama writes, "How and when the marriage occurred remains a bit murky, a bill of particulars that I have never quite had the courage to explore". Fair enough...No ones family tree is without a few shaky branches. (His father was still married to his first wife Kezia in Kenya at the time.)
Obamas Father and Mother together during his fathers only visit to Hawaii while Obama lived there. Obama with his father on the same visit to Hawaii
In this photo Baracks mothers second husband Lolo Soetoro (Indonesian Muslim), their daughter Maya, and Barack.
Abandoned by his father and shipped off by his mother to his grand parents, Barry Soetero becomes Barack Hussein Obama. Obama would describe his grandparents as "white folk". ( His words not mine.) I would have described them as a decent man and woman who didn't abandon their grandson.
Here Barack stands behind Kezia (stepmother) in a Kenyan family shot. Including brother Abongo 'Roy' Obama who is a Luo activist and a militant Muslim, who argues that "the black man must liberate himself from the poisoning influences of European culture"Obama wrote in Dreams From My Father: "Abongo's new lifestyle has left him lean and clear-eyed, and at the wedding, he looked so dignified in his black African gown with white trim and matching cap,that some of our guests mistook him for my father".
This is Obama's visit to Africa '06. There are no transcripts of the speeches he gave on this trip while campaigning for Odinga. But I do have to wonder what this man in this photo is about? Is this the same man who now wants to disassociate himself with inflammatory political statements? It appears that it wasn't that long ago that he was making similar statements of his own.
Then there is Obamas former Reverend Jeremiah Wright. It has been said that The corporate media and the racists have attempted to use the black church against the leading presidential candidate.
Oh really? It seems to me that the damage done there was inflicted by Wright himself. It was Wrights statements in his sermons that caused the firestorm that came back negatively to the candidate. No one created or fabricated that chain of events. No matter how much I'm sure the Obama camp would like it to be that way. Reverend Wrights well publicized quote:"Not 'God bless America,' 'God damn America," "God damn America for treating its citizens as less than human." should be in my opinion in the front of every ones mind.
WHY should this matter? Obama disassociated himself with it didn't he? And later with the Reverend for saying it. It should matter because no matter if hes publicly saying at this moment that he doesn't agree with the Reverends comments....He still sat at the mans knee for the past 20 years as a member of his church, and as a family friend. By Obamas own admission one of Reverend Wrights speeches "The audacity of Hope" is what prompted him to seek office. The man was a huge influence in his life. You cant be that close and be that significant to a person and not subscribe to his views.
Wright who appeared on the TV Show Bill Moyers Journal spoke about the positive side of his negative press. He said : "In response to the sound bytes, in response to the snippets, in Philadelphia Senator Obama made a very powerful speech in terms of our need as a nation to address the whole issue of race. That's something good that's already starting. That because of you guys playing these sound bytes now whats getting ready to happen as something very positive, and something very powerful that God can take what you meant to try and hurt somebody to help a nation to come to grips with the truth......To help a nation come to grips with mis educaton .....To help a nation to come to grips with things we don't like to talk about"....
Are you serious? You would like us all to believe that those comments you made about Damning our country and the negative media attention that followed are now a positive thing? That you Reverend are directly or indirectly responsible for this precieved positive attention? Who exactly do you feel your statements are educating? Who are they directed toward? Because I have to tell you speaking as a citizen of this country you speak of....I don't feel like this is about ALL FOR ONE AND ONE FOR ALL. It seems to me that the only person who is making this about race is YOU. You and others like you who have lived in this country for generations, who have reaped the benefits of it, but would still like to be seen as the victims of its past.
I am so tired of people like you Mr Wright. Those like you who refuse to move forward. Let me put this thought out there..... If as Americans you have been so ill used and mistreated then why is Mr Obama being taken seriously as a candidate for the highest office this country has to offer? How has he been able to become a US Senator? How was he able to attend one of the most respected Ivy League Schools in our country, Harvard?
From examination of Mr Obamas family and childhood....He wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth. So tell me, how could a man who's father wasn't there, who's mother sent him to live with grandparents go on to become a potential candidate for President of the United States? Could it be that he took advantage of the things this country had to offer him? The same country he now wants to lead? The very same country his Reverend and friend Damns?
Mr Obama recently relinquished his membership to the Church he has attended for the past two decades....He did so because the negative press that came from his associate with its speakers was hurting him politically. So my question..... Is Mr Obama really against this type of thinking? Or is he only against it at the moment because it will have an negative effect on his chances to become President? AND...if we elect him, will we then begin to see the same sort of statements coming out of the white house that he is trying so hard to distance himself from now? Will we see men like Jeremiah Wright becoming his closest advisors? Are these the type of people you want to have your Presidents ear?
If as I suspect his actions are a political ploy to maximize his votes for the Presidency. Then he is the equivalent of a snake oil salesman. One who will tell the American people anything they want to hear to make the sale and when he has what he wants (the oval office) You find that the thing you thought you were buying doesnt exist.
We ALL need to ask more questions. We need to ask ourselves what sort of man we want to lead us? What sort of man we want to represent us gobally. This shouldnt be about party politics...It should be about OUR future as country.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Observations Of Semi-Adulthood
Just like probably every other person in the world I sat and listened to the brain numbing lectures the family gave me about life in "the real world". I heard the "life isn't fair and that the real adult world was full of responsibilities and sacrifices. So enjoy it while you can...because this time wont last forever".
Yeah.... Yeah..... Yeah....I think I actually have that whole speech stitched on a pillow somewhere.
But now that I'm sort of here......standing in what could be considered semi adult hood....I admit it.....You were right Mom. The real world sucks sometimes. Being an adult is not all its cracked up to be. So I have to wonder is this really all there is? And if it is and this is what it means to be an adult......why does anyone want this job? It reeks!
Here are some of the changes Ive noticed...
You have to work ALL the time. Now I'm not opposed to work. But you have to do it ALL THE TIME!!
I miss beach days.
When you finally become legal drinking age.....the thrill of being able to do it is pretty much gone. Although by then you sometimes need the buzz. (that doesn't sound like a potential problem does it?)
No matter how much money you save......Bills will come to take it all. Its never enough. No matter how much you plan there is always going to be that unexpected fuel pump that goes out in your car...or the pot hole that takes out your tires.
It doesn't seem to matter what your work schedule says...Because inevitably you will still be called each and every time you have a day off. So don't make plans.
The less money you make at a job, the harder you will have to work and the nastier the jobs will be that you are asked to do.
You don't have to be an ASS to be in a position of power or authority. But if you have any of that in you, it will most definitely rise to the surface.
The social drama you thought you would leave behind when you left high school, continues to exist in the work place. Because age rarely changes those types of individuals.
Being forgiving or easy going is seen as a weakness. And its better not to let others know of it.
Don't get me wrong....I don't want to go back. Its not all bad. I do like some of the freedoms, even if they do come with more than their share of responsibilities. And I honestly am looking forward to finishing school and finding a good job. I suppose I want the same things everyone else seems to want.... to travel, a decent car, a house of my own, maybe a little financial Independence, someone special to share all the good things with. (but considering the dating options Ive observed....I maybe taking applications for a qualified gold digger) *smile*
But I admit I'm a little bit apprehensive about what comes next. Because I'm told this will only get worse. There are other things that come alone as time and adulthood progress.....Such as Kids....Morgages....Summer camp....PTA meetings.....Braces....Mowing the lawn.....Life Insurance...Retirement plans....Bran cereal.
I REALLY MISS BEACH DAYS
Yeah.... Yeah..... Yeah....I think I actually have that whole speech stitched on a pillow somewhere.
But now that I'm sort of here......standing in what could be considered semi adult hood....I admit it.....You were right Mom. The real world sucks sometimes. Being an adult is not all its cracked up to be. So I have to wonder is this really all there is? And if it is and this is what it means to be an adult......why does anyone want this job? It reeks!
Here are some of the changes Ive noticed...
You have to work ALL the time. Now I'm not opposed to work. But you have to do it ALL THE TIME!!
I miss beach days.
When you finally become legal drinking age.....the thrill of being able to do it is pretty much gone. Although by then you sometimes need the buzz. (that doesn't sound like a potential problem does it?)
No matter how much money you save......Bills will come to take it all. Its never enough. No matter how much you plan there is always going to be that unexpected fuel pump that goes out in your car...or the pot hole that takes out your tires.
It doesn't seem to matter what your work schedule says...Because inevitably you will still be called each and every time you have a day off. So don't make plans.
The less money you make at a job, the harder you will have to work and the nastier the jobs will be that you are asked to do.
You don't have to be an ASS to be in a position of power or authority. But if you have any of that in you, it will most definitely rise to the surface.
The social drama you thought you would leave behind when you left high school, continues to exist in the work place. Because age rarely changes those types of individuals.
Being forgiving or easy going is seen as a weakness. And its better not to let others know of it.
Don't get me wrong....I don't want to go back. Its not all bad. I do like some of the freedoms, even if they do come with more than their share of responsibilities. And I honestly am looking forward to finishing school and finding a good job. I suppose I want the same things everyone else seems to want.... to travel, a decent car, a house of my own, maybe a little financial Independence, someone special to share all the good things with. (but considering the dating options Ive observed....I maybe taking applications for a qualified gold digger) *smile*
But I admit I'm a little bit apprehensive about what comes next. Because I'm told this will only get worse. There are other things that come alone as time and adulthood progress.....Such as Kids....Morgages....Summer camp....PTA meetings.....Braces....Mowing the lawn.....Life Insurance...Retirement plans....Bran cereal.
I REALLY MISS BEACH DAYS
Saturday, June 07, 2008
Ron Paul for President?
After my last post on the 2008 presidential contenders there were a few comments made about another option for the office of President, congressman Ron Paul.
Here in my area I see a lot of signs, bumper stickers, etc promoting Congressman Paul for President. But to be honest, I really knew very little about him. Who exactly is Ron Paul and would he make a good choice for president? So I decided to let my fingers do the walking and see what Mr Paul was about. Here's some of what I found out.
Before seeking a public office Mr Paul attended and graduated from Duke University School of Medicine. He served his country in the US Air Force as flight surgeon. In the late 60's he began his medical practice in Brazoria County Texas, where he specialized in obstetrics/gynecology and delivered over 4000 babies.
He became a congressman in the 70's thru the early 80's and served on the House Banking committee where he was an advocate for sound monetary policy and a very outspoken critic of the federal reserves inflationary measures. His firm views on limited government were not considered popular in Washington.
Through out his career he has been an unwavering advocate of pro-life and family value issues. He has also consistently voted to lower or abolish federal taxes and spending regulation. He believes in and has actively promoted the return of the government to the proper constitutional levels.
In 1984 he voluntarily gave up his house seat to return to the private sector to practice medicine, then returned to congress in 1997. He now serves on the House Committee on Financial Services and the House Committee on Foreign Affairs.
Through out his life and Congressional career Mr Paul has remained consistent in his beliefs and works tirelessly toward the reduction of government, a return to constitutional principals, lower taxes, free markets and a return to sound monetary policies. His consistent voting record proves this and has prompted some of his colleagues to state : "Ron Paul personifies the Founding Father's ideal of the citizen-statesman. He makes it clear that his principles will never be compromised, and they never are.” and “There are few people in public life who, through thick and thin, rain or shine, stick to their principles. Ron Paul is one of those few.”
That seems high praise from ones own peers wouldn't you say? So now I have to ask myself why isn't this man someone who's been taken more seriously as a presidential contender? But in asking that question I suppose I already know the answer..... Considering his above strong ideals and beliefs he doesn't seem like a man who would be controlled or swayed for party's sake. And in the real world if you want the backing of the larger parties you have to be willing to not only bend but kiss a little butt while you're down there.
The following is a brief overview of Congressman Paul's record while in office.
He has never voted to raise taxes.
He has never voted for an unbalanced budget.
He has never voted for a federal restriction on gun ownership.
He has never voted to raise congressional pay.
He has never taken a government-paid junket.
He has never voted to increase the power of the executive branch.
He voted against the Patriot Act.
He voted against regulating the Internet.
He voted against the Iraq war.
He does not participate in the lucrative congressional pension program.
He returns a portion of his annual congressional office budget to the U.S. treasury every year.
Congressman Paul introduces numerous pieces of substantive legislation each year, probably more than any single member of Congress.
I have to say what Ive learned about this man so far I really like him. Now I have to decide if my vote is better used to block Obama,who I'm absolutely sure I do not want to run our country or do I want to vote for a man who I can actually admire and believe in as president?
Saturday, May 31, 2008
The Contenders
Is anyone else finding the presidential campaigns as humorous as I am? Seriously....You just cant make this stuff up. Just ask Hillary, shes already tried.
Lets review whats happened so far.
In this corner we have Democratic contender Hillary "I misspoke" Clinton. Hillary has proven that if you live with someone with a selective memory condition for long enough, some of that does indeed rub off on you. Considering her husbands well known extra curricular activities, that's probably the only thing of his that's rubbed off on Hillary for a very long time.
Ahhhh but I digress....
In case you missed it...Hillary Clinton in an attempt to show the voting public she had international experience, recounted a story of the trip she and daughter Chelsea took to Bosnia 12 years ago. In that she stated that they were forced to run for cover to avoid hostile gun fire.
Hmmmmm really?
Well not according to the camera crews who were following her on this trip. Footage showed an entirely different version of the events.....Hillary's landing was not only a peaceful one but she was greeted on the tarmac by a small child. Of course I suppose the kid could have been packing heat......You never know.
And If the existing film coverage wasn't enough....she also seemed to forget or overlook the fact that she was traveling in the company of two well known passengers...singer Sheryl Crowe and comedian Sinbad. Both of whom seemed to be equally confused by Hillary's retelling of the events and said they didn't recall anything like that happening.
You would think after witnessing first hand how well Bills poor memory skills worked for him politically, Hillary would have learned from his example. Lets face it...it was a whole lot easier for Bill to accidentally "misspeak" about the random intern kept behind the closed doors of the oval office than it was for Hillary about her trip to Bosnia that was followed by camera crews.
Later when she was questioned about the inaccuracy of her statements...Hillary claimed she was suffering from sleep deprivation and had just "misspoken". That explanation would have been easier to swallow if it hadn't been shown that she had repeated the exact same story publicly on other occasions as well. It was obviously easier for her to recall the details of her fabrication than it was the real facts of the trip.
To be fair I realize this all happened twelve years ago, and time does tend to make memories a bit fuzzy. And Hillary's not a spring chicken any longer which might even contribute to that fuzziness. But I think that running to avoid sniper fire is something that a person doesn't easily forget. I would think that it would be a pretty significant event in a persons life, one you would be able to recall clearly. Perhaps the problem stemmed from the fact that it didn't happen?
So I have to wonder, Hillary what were you thinking? Didn't it occur to you that this one was going to come back and bite you in your politically correct pant suit? And just for the record, you didn't "misspeak". To say that implies you just confused a few of the facts. What you did was fabricate a complete set of events that NEVER occurred. I may not have all the social or worldly experience that you have, but even I understand what this is. You can call it whatever you like, but here in the south...we call that LYING!
As a citizen of this country I have to ask why I would I want you running our country? A woman who cant even tell the truth about a simple and insignificant trip she took? This is just another reflection of your character Hillary. And if you have to lie to get the job, lying while in office doing the job wouldn't be such a stretch, would it?
Then we have contender number two, Mr Barack Obama. Mr Obama's controversy came in the form of his long time minister Reverend Jeremiah Wright. Wrights statements and sermons have been referred to as controversial and divisive.
Two examples used to illustrate this was his statement from a 2003 sermon in which he condemned America for racism and the unfair treatment of its black citizens. His quote: "Not 'God bless America,' 'God damn America,'" he said. "God damn America for treating its citizens as less than human." The second statement that stirred emotions was when he said that US policy makers were in the sway of the Klu Klux Klan.....he refereed to it as the US of KKK A.
Wrights sermons are filled with many strong words and statements of black empowerment. But at a time when the first black man is running for the office of president...they are far to inflammatory to be associated with. Which is why when the media grabbed onto this and ran with it, it wasn't long before presidential hopeful Obama disassociated himself with the reverends statements.
Obama who said he didn't agree with the statements made by Wright. But that he had known the Reverend a long time...and felt the man to be like a member of his own family.
Like a member of your family you say? And you weren't aware of the mans political beliefs before this? At this point the the problem I have with Obama is the same problem I have with Hillary. And that is his lack of honesty. If you have belonged to an organization for 20 years. You adopt its leader to guide you spiritually. You allow him to participate in some of the most important events of your life, marriage, baptisms etc. You see this man as an extended member of your family......then how can you act appalled when the very same mans politics and beliefs are exposed? If you have had such a close association with this individual then his beliefs shouldn't come as any surprise to you. Because logic says if you are that close...Your beliefs are probably very close to the same as that of your spiritual mentors.
I believe what did surprise you Mr Obama...is that your reverend/extended families remarks became news worthy and were seen by the public as inflammatory and negative. Which in turn drew negative attention to you by association. With a presidential nomination so close...the last thing you needed was that sort of controversy. So you tossed your reverend under the bus to save yourself.
Not a bad political move I suppose. But it doesn't say much about your character. You appear to be the typical wolf in politicians clothing Mr Obama. You are well spoken, educated and packaged in just the right way. But under the surface you aren't what you appear to be.
I don't have to agree with every belief of the man or woman who is chosen to lead our nation. But what I do want is to know that person who has been chosen is of good character. That they are trustworthy.
Which brings us to the other side of the fence...Republican contender John McCain. I wont say that I agree with all Mr McCain's policies or thinking. But what I do like is that he seems to make no apologies for what he thinks or feels. Whether that thinking is seen as popular by the voting public or not. In fact the only thing that the other side has been able to do to stir up what could be considered remotely controversial is McCain's views on prisoner interrogation.
President Bushes accepted methods for extracting information from detainees has been widely criticised. McCain while needing the Presidents political support, does not agree with the all the methods that have been used in the past. McCain who himself was at one time a prisoner of war perhaps sees this issue from a vastly different point of view than the average person.
McCain seems to be a straight shooter. He isn't embroiled in any of the he said she said drama that seem to be at the heart of the Obama- Clinton campaigns. His views on the war in Iraq and his milder less aggressive plans to eliminate green house admissions has him under criticism by some.
But McCain seems to be OK with that. While I'm sure like the other two candidates he's in this to win. He doesn't seem to have the desire to remake himself to fit in for popularity's sake. Like him, hate him...what you see seems to be what you get.
Since the game of politics seems to be just one big dance.....two steps forward.....one step back and a whole lot of spin....Does John McCain have what it takes to sway the vote? To be honest I'm not sure. But considering the alternatives (Obama / Clinton)
I'm praying he does.
Lets review whats happened so far.
In this corner we have Democratic contender Hillary "I misspoke" Clinton. Hillary has proven that if you live with someone with a selective memory condition for long enough, some of that does indeed rub off on you. Considering her husbands well known extra curricular activities, that's probably the only thing of his that's rubbed off on Hillary for a very long time.Ahhhh but I digress....
In case you missed it...Hillary Clinton in an attempt to show the voting public she had international experience, recounted a story of the trip she and daughter Chelsea took to Bosnia 12 years ago. In that she stated that they were forced to run for cover to avoid hostile gun fire.
Hmmmmm really?
Well not according to the camera crews who were following her on this trip. Footage showed an entirely different version of the events.....Hillary's landing was not only a peaceful one but she was greeted on the tarmac by a small child. Of course I suppose the kid could have been packing heat......You never know.
And If the existing film coverage wasn't enough....she also seemed to forget or overlook the fact that she was traveling in the company of two well known passengers...singer Sheryl Crowe and comedian Sinbad. Both of whom seemed to be equally confused by Hillary's retelling of the events and said they didn't recall anything like that happening.
You would think after witnessing first hand how well Bills poor memory skills worked for him politically, Hillary would have learned from his example. Lets face it...it was a whole lot easier for Bill to accidentally "misspeak" about the random intern kept behind the closed doors of the oval office than it was for Hillary about her trip to Bosnia that was followed by camera crews.
Later when she was questioned about the inaccuracy of her statements...Hillary claimed she was suffering from sleep deprivation and had just "misspoken". That explanation would have been easier to swallow if it hadn't been shown that she had repeated the exact same story publicly on other occasions as well. It was obviously easier for her to recall the details of her fabrication than it was the real facts of the trip.
To be fair I realize this all happened twelve years ago, and time does tend to make memories a bit fuzzy. And Hillary's not a spring chicken any longer which might even contribute to that fuzziness. But I think that running to avoid sniper fire is something that a person doesn't easily forget. I would think that it would be a pretty significant event in a persons life, one you would be able to recall clearly. Perhaps the problem stemmed from the fact that it didn't happen?
So I have to wonder, Hillary what were you thinking? Didn't it occur to you that this one was going to come back and bite you in your politically correct pant suit? And just for the record, you didn't "misspeak". To say that implies you just confused a few of the facts. What you did was fabricate a complete set of events that NEVER occurred. I may not have all the social or worldly experience that you have, but even I understand what this is. You can call it whatever you like, but here in the south...we call that LYING!
As a citizen of this country I have to ask why I would I want you running our country? A woman who cant even tell the truth about a simple and insignificant trip she took? This is just another reflection of your character Hillary. And if you have to lie to get the job, lying while in office doing the job wouldn't be such a stretch, would it?
Then we have contender number two, Mr Barack Obama. Mr Obama's controversy came in the form of his long time minister Reverend Jeremiah Wright. Wrights statements and sermons have been referred to as controversial and divisive. Two examples used to illustrate this was his statement from a 2003 sermon in which he condemned America for racism and the unfair treatment of its black citizens. His quote: "Not 'God bless America,' 'God damn America,'" he said. "God damn America for treating its citizens as less than human." The second statement that stirred emotions was when he said that US policy makers were in the sway of the Klu Klux Klan.....he refereed to it as the US of KKK A.
Wrights sermons are filled with many strong words and statements of black empowerment. But at a time when the first black man is running for the office of president...they are far to inflammatory to be associated with. Which is why when the media grabbed onto this and ran with it, it wasn't long before presidential hopeful Obama disassociated himself with the reverends statements.
Obama who said he didn't agree with the statements made by Wright. But that he had known the Reverend a long time...and felt the man to be like a member of his own family.
Like a member of your family you say? And you weren't aware of the mans political beliefs before this? At this point the the problem I have with Obama is the same problem I have with Hillary. And that is his lack of honesty. If you have belonged to an organization for 20 years. You adopt its leader to guide you spiritually. You allow him to participate in some of the most important events of your life, marriage, baptisms etc. You see this man as an extended member of your family......then how can you act appalled when the very same mans politics and beliefs are exposed? If you have had such a close association with this individual then his beliefs shouldn't come as any surprise to you. Because logic says if you are that close...Your beliefs are probably very close to the same as that of your spiritual mentors.
I believe what did surprise you Mr Obama...is that your reverend/extended families remarks became news worthy and were seen by the public as inflammatory and negative. Which in turn drew negative attention to you by association. With a presidential nomination so close...the last thing you needed was that sort of controversy. So you tossed your reverend under the bus to save yourself.
Not a bad political move I suppose. But it doesn't say much about your character. You appear to be the typical wolf in politicians clothing Mr Obama. You are well spoken, educated and packaged in just the right way. But under the surface you aren't what you appear to be.
I don't have to agree with every belief of the man or woman who is chosen to lead our nation. But what I do want is to know that person who has been chosen is of good character. That they are trustworthy.
Which brings us to the other side of the fence...Republican contender John McCain. I wont say that I agree with all Mr McCain's policies or thinking. But what I do like is that he seems to make no apologies for what he thinks or feels. Whether that thinking is seen as popular by the voting public or not. In fact the only thing that the other side has been able to do to stir up what could be considered remotely controversial is McCain's views on prisoner interrogation.President Bushes accepted methods for extracting information from detainees has been widely criticised. McCain while needing the Presidents political support, does not agree with the all the methods that have been used in the past. McCain who himself was at one time a prisoner of war perhaps sees this issue from a vastly different point of view than the average person.
McCain seems to be a straight shooter. He isn't embroiled in any of the he said she said drama that seem to be at the heart of the Obama- Clinton campaigns. His views on the war in Iraq and his milder less aggressive plans to eliminate green house admissions has him under criticism by some.
But McCain seems to be OK with that. While I'm sure like the other two candidates he's in this to win. He doesn't seem to have the desire to remake himself to fit in for popularity's sake. Like him, hate him...what you see seems to be what you get.
Since the game of politics seems to be just one big dance.....two steps forward.....one step back and a whole lot of spin....Does John McCain have what it takes to sway the vote? To be honest I'm not sure. But considering the alternatives (Obama / Clinton)
I'm praying he does.
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