Monday, October 16, 2006

The Sounds Of The Dark

I am a firm believer in the boogie man. I will never be the girl who is home alone in the house..hears the noise and then goes to investigate. I have watched one to many movies and know what happens when you do that.

Ok, well there was that one time a year or so ago that I had to tupperwear that bat that got in our house..but that was the ONLY time.

I don't dangle my feet over the edge of the bed at night. AND I don't go walking off in the dark all by myself. Which is why this weekend when we were all hanging out around a bon fire and I decided I needed to go out to the car...I took my friend Heather with me. The fire was in the back yard.....which of course is where most of the people were. The cars were parked in the front...no people...lots of dark.

Everything was going well...Heather and I were talking. We got out almost to the car...when I heard the noise. Now it wasn't just a rustle of the wind noise..it wasn't the scurry noise of some small furry woodland creature....This was the noise of a serial killer...it was the boogieman..it was loud.

I don't have to hear a noise twice so I can try and identify it. Its was a noise..It wasn't normal..that's all I need to know. I took off. Now just for the record..I am not the big athlete..But when I heard that noise this girl looked like a track star. I screamed...I ran..and I didn't look back. I just assumed Heather was behind me.

I kept running until I got back up to the fire where the rest of my friends were...The crowd sees me zipping past them like a rocket..and of course were curious as to why I was moving at the speed of light. Someone says.....Jen what's wrong? I said.... I heard a noise! That produced a few chuckles and some grins from around the fire. But I didn't care. Then they said....Jen where's Heather? What? She's not behind me? This is the first time I notice I'm alone and there is NO Heather....A minute or so later..here comes Heather up to the fire, winded from running.

Geezz Jen you just left me...I said.. What? I thought you were behind me! She said behind you?..I barely saw you...You heard the noise and you were gone.


OK (hangs head) This was true..I did kick it into the every man for himself mode.

She said.... Besides I cant run in these boots....AHUH..That was Heathers downfall right there..She had on her new boots...She had naively substituted fashion for safety. Rookie mistake..And not one you will see this girl making.

There are some very important lessons to be learned from all of this. First.....The importance of good footwear....And secondly...I don't have to be the fastest runner to survive the serial killers..I just have to be faster than my friend Heather.

14 comments:

Adrian said...

SELF PRESERVATION before others. I like this of you!!

GOOD JOB!! : )

Jen said...

Adrian
I knew YOU would understand!
Thank you sweetie. : )

Edge said...

Yes, just faster than your friends = survival, and of course you saw Drew Barrymore get eaten by the garage door in Scream. That's what the whole scenario reminded me of.

See you match the stereotypical physical profile of the horror movie victim. Young, pretty and blond. BUT where you diverge is that you are smarter than to go outside with the cordless phone to find the killer in the mist of midnight!

~Jef

Adrian said...

CORRECTION: Comment should have read as follows:

SELF PRESERVATION before others. I like this side of you!!

GOOD JOB!! : )

Adrian said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Adrian said...

Oh- GREAT choice of song by the way!

I LOVE THE EAGLES!!

Megan said...

Dude! I believe in the boogie man too. At night? In my house? If I hear a noise in the hall? I automatically shut and lock the bedroom door. I do not care to sit around and say, "ummm...maybe it sounded like the icemaker," and then get knifed in my sleep.

I can't sleep with bodyparts hanging off the bed (due to a story about a serial killer, a dog, and a little girl) and I have to be covered up- they can't get you if you are under the covers you know...

exMI said...

Keep Heather around when the Zombie Plauge comes. She will be a usefull distraction........

Jen said...

Adrian
Thank you..Im glad you liked the song. I love the Eagles too!


Megan
OMG! I remember that story. It had to do with the killer being under the bed licking her hand, it was dark and she thought it was the dog, right?

Ewwwwww no wonder I have issues..I had forgotten about that one.

Tell me, how do you feel about Clowns?
*shudder*


exmi
That is a very good idea. I had forgotten about the possible Zombie plague.

But..I actually am friends with two Heathers. And I believe I can out run both of them. So I do have back up.
*grin*

Hulabelly said...

Jef- Drew Barrymore Did NOT get eaten by the garage door in Scream. That was Rose McGowan (sp?) Drew Barrymore was eviscerated and hung up by her entrails in the beginning of the movie.

Jen, I have a zombie phobia, so I'm right with you on the boogie man thing.

Jen said...

Hulabelly
The ones who believe will be the ones survive.

You have to know whats coming so you can watch out for it.

I say stockpile the oreo's!

Megan said...

Don't get me started on the creepiness that is clowns.

1st- they could be anyone or anything under all that smiley make-up (John Wayne Gacy, anyone?) I've never seen Stephen King's "It" although I understand it scars people like me for life.

2nd- Even the music creeps me out. Calliope? Is that what its called? Its very manic and it freaks me out.

Rose McGowan was in Scream?

Jen said...

Megan
I watched about 10 minutes of "IT" before the parents realized I was there..And thats all it took. I plugged every drain in the house for the next several years.

Ryan said...

This kinda reminded me of an old joke I read many years ago Jen. The joke would score how many points a husband's action would be (according to his wife) if she woke up in the middle of the night and heard something.

Here are the varied husband responses, followed with how much that response scores...

-70 = husband doesn't wake up
-50 = husband says it's nothing
-50 = husband falls back asleep
-20 = husband listens... yet falls asleep
-10 = husband makes a joke about it...
-10 = that it was him...
-50 = that it's probably an ax-murderer fresh from prison
10 = husband goes and inspects
10 = turns on lights
30 = and takes baseball bat
30 = husband hits something...
50 = ...really hard
70 = husband returns and offers valid explanation...
10 = that it was a rodent...
10 = and shows proof
-50 = that it was the ax-murderer...
-20 = and shows proof
50 = and calls cops
-100 = or husband doesn't return...
-50 = because he turned the TV on

;o)