Lessons Learned...

I'm getting ready to have another Birthday. I love birthdays. Not just mine but everyone's. I think that everyone deserves a day to celebrate the time they came to this earth and to the people who have now come to know and love them. I am not foolish enough to think that I have learned everything I need to know about life and people yet. I believe most of us if we pay attention and stay open are learning new lessons up until the day we leave this world. But I have learned a few things and made a few observations about people.

I think there are still a lot of good people in this world. Even though some of them still have flaws and make their share of mistakes. They are still kind in heart and have good souls. I have learned from these individuals about the kind of person I wish to be.

Funny thing is, I've learned from some not so nice people to. I have learned from them that I do not want to gossip. Most of the time this kind of talk is based on jealousy or ignorance. It serves no purpose other than to put down someone else's character, while destroying your own in the process.

I do not want to be jealous. I know this is more of an emotion than a conscious act, it does nothing but feed on your insecurities. I would rather be able to feel trust in the person I love and happy for others and their accomplishments, than to feel the fear or anger that jealousy breeds.

I do not want to control. I know that the only person in this life I have any real control over is myself. I do not want to try and force others to think as I do, or behave in a certain way by trying to manipulate them emotionally or physically.

To the people in my life or just the ones who have passed through my life anonymously that have taught me some of these lessons. I thank you. You may have hurt me or knocked me down temporally. But I'm not out, I got back up on my feet and I am stronger than I was before you came along. You can still hurt me..Words always have that power. But I'm not ashamed of that. Its ok to feel pain, or hurt when your attacked. I wont however let you make me feel bitter or angry. I will not become you. It takes to much time and energy to feel those things and I wont waste any of mine on you. To the person in my past or to any in my future who think they will try and control me by physical means...DON'T DO IT. I'm not so young or inexperienced anymore. I will not be to shy or insecure as to let you ever hurt me like that again.

I have learned that its important to forgive, but not to forget. Because while forgiveness heals...Forgetting is a lesson that's gone unlearned. It may take me a few tries...But eventually even I get it. To those of you out there who have taught me so much....Thank you again..And Happy Birthday.