Who's Your Daddy?

During the recent elections there was quite a bit of candidate mud slinging going on. There is always a little of that during every election. But this time around in my view, there seemed to be a lot more than what could be considered normal.

But...not all the mud slinging of this years election went to waste. I actually managed to learn something. Yeah, I know it surprised me too. Just when you think the kids aren't looking....guess what....we are.

I don't always take all that "He said... She said" stuff that goes on too seriously. You know as well as I do there are always two sides to every story. How a story is spun to the public usually determines whether the person in question comes out looking like a hero or a villain. But I have learned that if you take the time to read and investigate a little bit...You can usually get enough of the pieces of the puzzle to determine what the real story is.

Which brings me to the 2006 compaign prior to the elections......This year they were talking about something they referred to as the Scarlet Letter Law. It was 106 pages of legislation concerning adoption. The law states that when a woman offers a child up for adoption, if the father of the child cannot be identified...the woman is then required to publish the details of every sexual encounter she has ever had that could have caused pregnancy.

Yep that's right....She has to name names if she has any, along with descriptions of the men to the local news paper where the sexual encounters occurred. The idea being, that if any would be father is out there, he could read this...possibly recognize himself....and come forward to claim his rights to the child if he so chooses.

What prompted this law to come about? That would be the several high profile cases of fathers appearing after the fact, contesting and attempting to reverse adoptions of their biological children. Those organizations that back the law, say that it ensures that fathers are not excluded from the adoption process.

David Wilson founder of Fathers Awareness of Rights and Custody Equality in Cocoa Beach, Fla. said "Allowing mothers to put their children up for adoption without notifying the father is just another attempt to take the father out of the picture".

Is it really?

Now, I would have to say that I acknowledge a fathers rights to parent. I will be the first to admit fathers provide a valuable contribution to their children's lives. But what is the reality of these pregnancies? Is this some woman trying to shut out her babies daddy? Or could this be a girl who maybe got herself into a situation and decided that abortion wasn't for her.

Because lets face facts here. If you really want to shut the guy out of the process...That's the way to do it once and for all. Some of the attorneys who handle these types of adoption cases regularly..... are saying that more and more of their clients are deciding to go with the abortion option rather than be put through the public humiliation of the current law.

Several adoption agencies through out the state have even reported a dramatic decline of adoptions taking place since the law was passed. To add insult to injury and making the entire process even more difficult...Some news papers are refusing to run the ads...others put them so far to the back of the news paper in small tiny print that they would be almost impossible to find unless you were looking for them. Which basically means the woman is still put through this indignity and the end result is that it was for nothing.

I do have to say that I am surprised at those groups that have stood up to oppose this law. It seems like when there is so little most groups can agree on lately...Anti-abortion and Pro-abortion groups alike think this law is a bad idea. Those two groups alone being in agreement should send up a red flag about this law..... Lets face it they don't agree on anything...EVER! Not to mention several of the clergy and religious organizations all believe this law is ill conceived.

Here's my take on this drama....First of all..I have to tell you...I wouldn't put myself in the anti-abortion camp. But I am a woman who feels that life begins at conception. I think once you shove that sperm and egg together...its a done deal. Having said that, I'm not here trying to debate or judge anyone who has a different point of view than my own. But I do think that there are a lot of people out there who would LOVE to parents. Some who would actually take the job seriously and do a good job raising another human being to become a normal healthy adult. This law in my opinion lessens the likely hood of that occurring. The fact a woman finds out she has become pregnant unexpectedly is traumatic enough, without heaping on public humiliation of her sexual behavior on top of that.

I will be the first to admit that there are those individuals out there male and female who need to give some serious thought to their sexual behavior. Lets face it..if you cant recall who the dad might be or even know his name..It maybe time to rethink your social life somewhat and possibly get a new hobby.

But in my eyes...If you find yourself pregnant and you realize that becoming a parent isn't a good idea for whatever reason. Then placing that child with a family that is ready.....is the most responsible and unselfish thing you can do. Its giving that child a chance for a good life and giving two people who want that child a chance to love it and raise it. Why would we want to put a law into place that would discourage women or anyone from doing that?

Another reason this law doesnt make sense is because in this country at the moment there are Safe Haven Laws in each state with the exception of two. That means if you have a baby...and do not want that baby. You can take it to a designated place...such as a church, hospital, fire station, police station etc...and hand the child to a responsible party and just say I don't want this baby. That's it...no questions asked. The safe haven concept was designed so that there would be an alternative to placing the child in a dumpster or leaving it in a bathroom stall. How many stories do we hear similar to those each and every day? They happen because the female giving birth is more afraid of someone finding out that she gave birth rather than the consequences of what she has done to her child after the fact. How tragic and sad is that?

I suppose I just don't get the thinking of some legislators or for that matter some of the general public. Each generation of children will be the future of this country. When are we going to start treating them as a priority. Making them precious and a valuable. Making sure that there are measures in place that make it easier for children to be put in safe and loving hands instead of being disposed of like so much garbage.

If you don't ever think about this aspect of your country....maybe its time you should. None of us are getting any younger. One day not only will these children be running things, but they will be the ones to decide what's to be done with YOU. How you treat them now may determine how valuable they view your life when you get to be too old to contribute any longer.

Think about it.