Man + Woman = Sex...But not necessarily love.

I was talking to a friend about his feelings for a girl he's just recently met a month or so ago. Ill call her Sam. He seems to think a lot of Sam, at least he's told her he does. They have a lot of things in common..Share views on a lot of different topics and seem to really enjoy each others company. They both seem attracted to each other and share that sort of electricity or chemistry with each other. So naturally the topic of taking things to that next step has come up.

Neither Sam nor my friend are the promiscuous types. When talking to my friend about this aspect of the relationship and his desire to take that next step he said something's that not only made me admire him...But also made me think. He said that while speaking as a guy...His desire to sleep with Sam wasn't an issue. He knew he definitely wanted to and could...NO problem. But speaking as the guy who thought a lot of this girl....He knew he shouldn't unless he was in a place that he could offer her more of himself or a more serious relationship. And right now....As things stood in his life..He couldn't.

I respect that about my friend. I admire that he wants more from sex than just the physical enjoyment of the act. He wants it to actually mean something.

This talk also made me think. Men and women have widely different views on a variety of topics...Sex being just one. Men seem to view sex more in the physical. Where women generally approach it on more of an emotional level.

That's not to say that a man cant be emotionally attached to the woman he's being physical with. I think my friend proves that there are times when in fact they do. But the emotional connection isn't necessary for most men to engage in the physical act. They do not confuse the physical act of sex with the emotion of love. Women on the other hand quite often equate sex with love.

I'm not saying that a woman cant enjoy the physical aspect of sex..They can and definitely do. Or that a woman cant desire sex just for the sake of sex. They can. But more often women internally equate it with love.

Is this where we as women make a mistake? Most people today rush head long into relationships with out giving the relationship time to progress to the point that the emotional side of it can sustain the physical side. Lets face it..The chemistry part comes easy. In the beginning meeting someone new, its all fireworks..sparks and butterflies with combat boots. Its exciting.

But that's not the real love. That's the chemistry. Its biology taking hold. The lasting part, the real part takes time to develop. It takes time to really get to know someone on a level that you really genuinely know who they are. Most of us hold back in the beginning. We don't let everyone see that deeper part of ourselves right away.. It takes time because getting to know another person that deeply is like peeling away layers of an onion...Each layer reveals another aspect to this persons life..Their past..And their personalities.

If we waited..Gave ourselves that time to know the person....Would we still want to be physical after it was all said and done? Maybe...Maybe not.

Maybe thats why they say anything worth having is worth waiting for.