Tonight is one of those nights that I'm lost in thought. I know most people are out with friends or on a date tonight. Its Friday night after all...Isn't that what your supposed to do on Friday night? But not me, I'm home alone...In the quiet...Just thinking.
I have been told that I think to much. That I over analyze. I suppose there is some truth to this. But its at times like this...When I am alone that I am able to get the most clarity. I can organize my thoughts and think of all the what ifs.
I admit lately I feel sort of lost. I'm wondering where my place is in this world. Its not the first time I've felt like this over the past year...But usually the feeling passes. Lately though its hanging there like this cloud. I feel like I have been swimming as hard and fast as I can, but am going nowhere. So I have to ask, am I just treading water or am I slowly circling the drain.
I'm sometimes afraid it may be the later.
I have a few choices in front of me. But for the first time I truly have no idea which direction to go into...I have things pulling at me from different directions for very different reasons. What do you do if your heart and your head are in opposition? Do you do the logical practical thing.... Or do you throw caution away...Follow your heart and jump into the deep end of the pool?
12 comments:
Being tugged from a million different angles... that entire concept defined my life between high school and the Army. It only gets worse. lol
I think our conversation yesterday said all that needs to be.
always
always
always
follow yer heart.
Hi E, yo mama sez hi!!
dreadcow
Thank you for the talk earlier. It helped. I also read the new post..You have somehow managed to make going to the bathroom sound far worse than the 5 times youve been blown up.....
Did it ever occur to you that maybe the bullets and blowing up your humvees are just a cover..they plan to really get rid of you with Chi and bad plumbing?
Be Safe Love Ya
mamabear
How nice to see you again. I hope you and P.B. are doing ok. Dont worry about E..Gods watching over him..Plus you raised him right.
: )
Thomas..
Good job! lol I am flattered and impressed all at the same time.
I may not be the best example to follow, but Im all for happiness. People may assume they know whats best for you, but bottom line is- you'll only know for sure once youve given it a shot yourself. All I can say is, dont let life be full of doubt or regrets- do whatever you want when you want.
YOU ARE NUMBER ONE. Always.
Adrian
Thank you for that. It means a lot.
Ek varlang na jou.
Throw caution to the wind. Go ahead and jump in the deep end. (This is coming from an avid scuba diver)
Follow your heart. Even when it leads you in the wrong direction, you will still end up in a nice place.
Peter Matthes
Thank you for the comment and the advise. There is a huge part of me that wants nothing more than to do exactly what youre suggesting.
I am starting to realize Ive become a walking contradiction. My heart is fearless and my head completely afraid.
Follow your heart, Jen. I did. I know it's not a great example, but it's like I told you, I'd do it all over again. Heartbreak and all. You will never forget it and it will always be a part of you. Don't regret it. I fear that may be the consequence if you don't follow your heart.
We only live once and our once is now. Your head will eventually understand why you went with your heart. You will always ask yourself 'what if' if you don't. But, you have that choice to not have to forever wonder 'what if.' And when you do it, things will be as they should. And you will end up where you're supposed to be reguardless. Again, we only live once and why not live happy? There are too many things in this world, especially now days, that get in our way of happiness. Don't let them if you don't have to.
"I'd rather live a minute of happy than a lifetime of sad."
I hate to follw the crowd but I am going to. Follow your heart. YOU're young, if it doesn't work out you have plenty of time to cortrect the mistakes.
(Note: this only applies unless your heart is telling you to do something like go to Colombia and confront the corrupt system, or go reach out to the oppressed in Baghdad. Follow the heart but don't be dumb.)
Or just give up swimming and take up fencing.
Jen. There's no shame in spending Friday evenings alone. I've got the feeling that you're alot like me in that you are alone but not lonely. If it makes you feel better, I spend the majority of my Friday evenings alone and thinking.
As for where you are in life right now, I've been there and still am to some extent. As for following heart or head, that's a tough one. In work, war, and finances, follow your head. In life, love, and liesure, follow your heart. Don't know if that helps.*grin*
Hang in there, and know that you're in my thoughts.
Hi jen, how you doing? Long, long time! :--)
This sense of directionless, i think is good, in the sense, it makes one think deeply and come up with ones own answers. Unless it makes you cynical, it's something worthwhile to evaluate ones choices from all angles. Hope you come up with your solutions, on your own or with friends.
Will catch up on your other posts. Keep blogging!
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