Saturday, October 29, 2005

No Trick Or Treat Prank.....

I have never seriously considered suicide as an answer to my problems..I suppose maybe I have never had anything that I felt was so mind shattering or heart breaking in my life as to think of this as on option. As a child getting angry with my parents or with friends, I have said those words to myself..."I wish I was dead". But to me that statement was made as more in an adolescent drama than because I really truly felt that way. So considering all the things I have been through in my life so far..I suppose I can count myself lucky. While I can say this for myself...I do know a few people who at a point in their lives had more than just a random thought as to the possibility of trying something like this as a solution to their problems....

One friend had lost a brother in an accident earlier that year....I will say he had some problems going on in his life before this...But the death kinda kicked things up a notch for him. He managed to seek counseling instead of suicide.

Then earlier this year...We had three actual suicides in our town...These were persons all in the middle school age group...Around 13. They all hung themselves. Each of them was believed to be done accidentally.....As part of a participation in an Internet game that uses suicide as a way to increase sexual climax.....I'm not even going to go into that one.

I also know one woman..Who is my mothers age. In her family, suicide seems to be a tradition. I have stated this before, that some people would have been better off being raised by wolves. Well here is a good example of such a family. This woman lost an Aunt and Uncle to suicide...Before finding her mother one day when she came home from work. Then later that year she comes home again, This time to find her brother had followed in moms footsteps. Later, the following year, her father....Who I should add was divorced from the mother and had been for years...And didn't live with any of the family....Also attempted to commit suicide, but failed..And survived.

Now what prompts an entire family for generations to use this as a solution to life's problems? My mom said that when she had spoken to this woman about it. Her feelings on it were..."It was Gods will"...That if God didn't want them to die he would have stopped it..Because God can do anything.

In my opinion there are not enough hours in this day or money in this world for therapy to unwrap this twisted theory. But I will say this...It is my understanding that God can indeed do anything. But he has also given each human something special...Its called Freedom of choice..We can decide, Do we follow or do we abandon him and go our own way..

You could be wondering what has gotten me on this subject of suicide...Well it was reading this article today..If you have ever wondered if there is a good or bad time to contemplate suicide...The answer is NO there is never a good time.....But especially this close to Halloween. A 42 year old woman decided suicide was her only option late Tuesday night or early Wednesday morning.. She hung herself from a tree on moderately busy road, across the street from several homes...She was about 15 feet above the ground and could easily be seen by passing motorists...The suicide was not reported because those who saw the woman assumed it was a Halloween decoration...It wasn't until many hours later that police were called...One of the neighbors said they had seen her at breakfast time, but just assumed it was something someone had rigged up for the holiday.

I'm not even going to comment on that one any further...I have always like Halloween..Not all the blood and guts of the Holiday..I'm not really into gore..I just like the costumes the spooky kind of scareness of it all...And of course the free candy.. So to end on a better note...I hope everyone has a safe and Happy Halloween.


Jenn said...

Wow! Great post, Jen.

I don't have much to say because I agree with you completely. God has give us free will and with that, we take it as we will.

I had an Uncle who attempted suicide a couple of times before he succeeded. He hung himself from the catwalk over the freeway once. Later to find out that the men who pulled him up by his skin (he had no shirt on) were my sons now granpa and uncle. The last time he stabbed himself in the neck.

I must have been but 10 years old, IF that. I stil remember it like it was yesterday.

One of my brother's has also contemplated suicide after our dad died. But he's never actually tried. That I'm aware of. Thank God.

The lady who hung herself and people thought it was a prop, that's really, really sad. People who find out will be haunted by the vision.

Hope you have a Happy Halloween youself!

Jen said...

I am always surprised at how many people that I know have actually been touched in someway by suicide. There are so many more than you would think. Im glad your brother decided this wasnt the answer for him...But Im sorry for your loss Jenn, 10 years old is too young to have to deal with a death.

I hope you have a Happy Halloween too...I want pictures : )

Jenn said...

Oh sweet Jen. I've lost many close to my heart at young ages and now. It gives me a sense of wanting to live life to the fullest and not to take those I love for granted, becasue I know it really is too short.

Maybe I'll do a post on it one day.

Jen said...

Youre so right, sometimes I forget about how short it is and how important it is to tell the people I love how much they mean to me. Thank you Jenn.

I would like to read that post if you ever decide to write it.

JgStephan said...

You are always faster than me... You know my story of my accident in the year 1993 and you know what I have try after this. I was still very young and I am glad for it the attempt has failed...

I have five uncles and aunts and one was my favorite uncle. I visit my uncle Siegfried almost every weekend. He went to fish with my cousin and me and many other nice things. He spoke much with me and was always to the place if I had problems.

He was married to my aunt Heidi for 25 years. In 1991 she had an enthusiast and would be divorce from him. He has loved Heidi very much and has been always a very good husband. My grandfather said to him, he is like a son for him. Heidi is a whore but she is also his daughter and he will always love her. You are always welcome also after the divorce.

On July 29th 1991 my grandfather woke me up and said that my uncle has done suicide with his 9 mm service weapon, he has shot into his head during the work... My grandpa said, I should drive to my two cousin with my granny and to comfort them. When we have arrived there, my older cousin had to comfort me. I know it is embarrassing but I couldn't differently, I have cried...

He was always to the place if I had problems...I haven't visit him in his hardest time and perhaps I could have prevented the suicide...perhaps, I don't know. I dream very often from this time and I make reproaches to me...

I write the email later, unfortunately, I cannot send you any Halloween pictures from me...

I hope you have a happy Halloween Jen!

Edge said...

That's so sad, but what's worse is that there are so many depressed people out there who don't even know they need help.

If you are reading this and you feel sad about life and don't think there are any alternatives besides suicide, call someone; a minister a priest a counselor even 911 and talk to someone.

Wheter you believe it or not people DO care about you and DO want to help AND you ARE worth something.

Good post, dark but good.


Jen said...

There is too much I want to say to you about all this..So Ill just email you later.
Im disapointed about the Halloween pictures..but I hope youre feeling better. : )
Im thinking you were just trying to get out of having to wear the viking

Thanks for the comments

Hulabelly said...

I think that if it runs in families, it's sort of a learned behavior.. I was friends with a girl whose mum had offed herself, and she went to school with her younger brother who developed a plan to kill himself because "life sucked" and it had worked for his mum, that he knew of... She called me to come over and talked to him about it for support.. We walked over, she walked in the room and slapped him so hard, he fell down. He got up, enraged that she wold strike him, and she said simply "That's what you do to me everytime you talk about suicide" and they had this really powerful moment where they just cried and held each other. It was sad, but honest.

Jen said...

I think youre right about it being something learned in some cases..The woman I posted about whos entire family saw this as a solution to lifes problems, seemed to relate to it this way. She said it was how her mother felt..and I suppose this is why her brother followed along almost a year later. The father tho...I dont see him as being suicidal as much as I do see him being a drama queen. He was a very manipulative person, and I feel like he used this as a way to control members of his family...Which is a whole new set of issues.

Im glad youre friend found a way to get through to her brother..It may have been extreme..but then so is loosing someone to suicide, and it worked, Im glad for her and her brother too.

JgStephan said...

I still owe an email to you...I haven't forgotten this and I write to you today!

I'm very sorry because I have disappointed you. I have promised you pictures and you get them, but you must wait a little. This gets embarrassing for me... "lol"

Jen said...

You remember our talk about my duty as your friend to give you a hard time..How can I do this with out pictures?
And just for the record...the last ones were to normal to tease you about...I want to see you bowling! lol
I talked to Adrian and gave him your message about the drinks..He laughed and said you are a good guy..He says hello too.