Tuesday

Maybe it's a sign.....

The rain has stopped and the air is cool but comfortable... The sky is this vivid cloudless blue and the air smells fresh and clean.

It's a good day and when I left school instead of going home I just kept going. Out of the city in no particular direction or destination...I just drove. It felt good. The window down, the music on and just leaving all the familar landmarks behind me.

I realized the farther I went the more I was smiling and the better I felt. It's not the same feeling this time as all the other times I've wanted to run away from home over the past year or so. It wasn't like that. I don't even know if I can put the reason why it felt so good into words.

Maybe it's a combination of things, all the random right conditions to make just driving no where feel perfect. It's days like this I can almost feel hopeful.

I'm trying to finish the things Ive started here so I can go forward with the next step in my life with a clean slate.

I still feel regrets when I look back over the mistakes and time wasted over the past year or so. But maybe that's just how it's supposed to be? Maybe it's important to feel pain or sadness for your screw ups. Maybe that's just one of the consequences of making mistakes you have to live with. Maybe those kinds of marks heal slower so you will remember them.

I honestly don't know, but what I do know is that today I feel lighter. I feel like maybe there are possibilties and good things out there waiting for me. I'm becoming excited to see what they might be and to see how I'll turn out.

Today is just a normal Tursday but right now it feels peaceful and perfect.