I posted last about a 47 year old father who thought it would be a good idea to provide his 15 year old son with some heavy duty prescription drugs, because he felt he needed to teach his son how to "party right" His son later died of accidental overdose.
The suggestion was made that maybe we need to require someone to have a license to be able to become a parent? We are required to have licenses for a great many other things in life. Things like driving a car, getting married, practicing medicine, selling alcohol, carrying a gun....even cutting hair or owning a pet requires a license.
So when it comes to something as important as raising a child into a healthy adult should we need a license for that too?
I SAY NO!
I will be the first to say that stories like the one above, where parents are clearly not parenting. They make me angry, beyond angry. I think if you want to screw up your life as an adult. SO be it..go for it. You wont be alone, there will be plenty of other losers out there in the world who are also tossing their lives away just like you are to keep you company. At least until you are useless to them....because people like that are usually only there as long as the party lasts...after that they are vapor.
But when there is a kid involved. Then, its no longer OK. It doesn't matter what you want. It only matters whats best for your child. END OF STORY.
But does this mean that a license to be a parent is the answer?
NO, I don't think it is.
First of all, its not the job of the government to guide us as parents nor should they dictate to us whether we can become parents. And if we do give them that sort of control, then what? Do they then also tell us what type of discipline we can administer as parents? Do they get to tell us what programs our children can view, what movies and music, what time they have to be in bed at night, what type of foods they can or cant eat? OK maybe that sounds a bit extreme. But the point its its not a governments job to raise our kids. Its OUR job and we need to start taking it more seriously.
Lets go one step further.....who is going to make sure this license system is enforced? Do we have parent police then? Do we stop new parents at the hospital doors and ask....let me see your license before you can take your child home? Do we deny patient care for pregnant women who cant prove they have the proper paper work?
Then we also have to ask...HOW DO WE MONITOR SEXUAL ACTIVITY? Because bottom line..that's what we are talking about here. We have to have a way to keep people from reproducing before they are able to be licensed to do so. Is that really the way we want this to go?
It was said that children are treated as property.....No children aren't property. But to consider giving ANYONE but the parent the right to determine what is or isn't best for their child isn't a good idea either. Government isn't the answer for every ill we suffer in society.....We shouldn't be making more laws or rules we dont have the means to enforce.
It all comes down to a question of adult responsibility doesn't it? For those parents who cant be bothered to pay attention to where your kids are or what they are doing.....who think its better to be your kids pal, or party buddy....... Put down the beer in your hand get off your lazy butts and realize that you are the one who is supposed to be setting the example for your kids. Its time to raise the bar instead of sitting in one, its time to start being adults....to stop being the big spoiled, irresponsible, self centered children in adults clothing.
Grow the hell up, your kids actually need you.
18 comments:
Interesting, although I think you took the previous comments a little too literally. Perhaps a better idea would be to make all prospective parents take a course in how to properly raise a child, and have regular checkups as the kid grows to make sure the things they were taught are being adhered to. As for who'll pay for it - well, I'm not sure which country you're from but certainly all the money the US, UK, and Australia have wasted on an unnecessary war over the past 7 years would more than pay for this in each of these countries.
Having said all that I do stick by my belief that stupid and irresponsible people should not be allowed to breed...
:)
No one says you can't have kids or have sex ... however, if you don't have a license, you don't get benefits.
And honestly, I think some people need to have their sex life monitored.
Knot
Jones is exactly right.
Knot
kawabonga.
jean-jacques
LOL...I havent heard that in a long time...
Kawabonga indeed. : )
scaramouche jones and knot
Too literally? Do you think so?
I think your comments helped prove my point.
You want to make ALL prospectivce parents take a course in how to properly raise a child? And then take that one step further to make sure parents are following what they have been taught you want them to go in for regular check ups to make sure that they are adhearing to the rules?
First...our grandparents and great grandparents so on and so on didnt require a class to parent. They didnt have a set of rules to follow. Unless you count the golden rule. WHY? Do you ever wonder where we have gone so wrong as a socieity that now we need to get someone to force us into a class and check ups for parenting our own children?
I DO NOT WANT ANYONE TELLING ME HOW TO RAISE MY CHILD. I will be the parent and that job is mine. NOT a social service department, not a government, not a phycologist...MINE. The person who gave birth to that child.
The individuals you speak of that shouldnt be allowed to breed are usually the ones doing it in quanity and with little thought to the children they produce. Classes or rules or licenses wont do a thing for those parents.
Secondly you are trying to fix a symptom not the problem. You cant tell someone who is uneducated, self centered and irresponsible that they need to be better parents...they themselves were raised that way...More than likely they have grand parents who were exactly the same as they are. Its all they know. And to be perfectly honest...most of those individuals dont really care. Kids arent something they want as much as a result of sex.
You cant devalue everything that means anything and then expect us to have children who understand morality or values or manners or have a work ethic.
I was told a long time ago that we do not loose freedoms and values in big chunks. Evil does not take over quickly...it does so little by little....it errodes us so slowly that we dont even realize things are changing until its to late.
Well guess what...here we are. 60 years ago...we understood what it meant to have manners. We understood what it meant to have modesty...self respect...sense of community. Respect for our parents for our country. We had values.
What do we have now... We can not pray for fear of praying to near someone who doesnt believe in our god. We have reality TV, which if you watch provides no postive value to the viewer once so ever. We degrade women, and have no self respect for ourselves. We no longer have pride in our country or the men chosen to represent it.
We swear, lie, cheat and steal and all this has become no big surprise. Do you realize that we are ranked 24th in the world for the education of our children?
We are a major world power. And soon we wont have anyone who is capable enough in maths and sciences to compete with the rest of the world.
WELCOME HOME FOLKS...its not about a few ignorant irresponsible parents...its a whole lot more than that.
You asked for my opinion and I gave it. I didn't ask you to agree with me.
Good luck with your blog and your opinions.
I think the whole thing about license to procreate is a joke. It's almost always said in jest, because there's nothing like bad parenting. It affects us all. Bad parenting leads to bratty kids, gang bangers, thugs, losers, etc., pretty much all the human ills in our society can be attributed to it. That's why it's brought up.
Now, I strongly advocate rewarding people for breeding. I'd do away with the tax break per child. Kids cost the state money. We have to pay for their education. Breeders shouldn't get tax breaks. That makes no sense.
The other thing is once someone is on welfare, you get the same amount whether it's 1 kid or 10. No fertility bonus.
whoops. I hit the send too soon.
I strongly advocate getting rid of the rewards for breeding.
scaramouche jones
I always welcome anyone who wants to voice their opinions about whatever topic is being discussed.
I never expect anyone to agree with me and I am more than willing to debate different points of view.
But that is all it is...its a simple debate or maybe rant about something that bugs me.
If I disagree...it should never be taken personally. And just because I disagree it doesnt make me right. It just makes my thoughts different than someone elses.
If my response seemed to be too personal...that was not the intention and I apologize.
: )
zombieslayer
I have never had a problem with helping others...But I dont believe we should take them to raise. And what I mean is if a system is in place to assist someone who is in need...it should be a system that assists that person to get on their feet.
Its that saying about give the man a fish he eats for a day...teach a man to fish and he can feed himself for a life time.
Giving others help should be done with a more long term goal in mind...Giving someone back their self respect and allowing them to become independant goes along way toward that.
There will always be those who really dont want help...just support. And they know how to work the system. Unfortunatly its always the kids who suffer in these situations.
Blogging etiquette: writing in capitals = shouting. I took your response as personal because of that.
But, all in the past as far as I'm concerned :)
I think the government kinda licences your idea anyway? Just not in the way you're thinking Jen, they're a little more smarter.
If they were to licence sex (for procreation purposes) they wouldn't nearly demand as much taxes from us as they would if they "serviced" children who were in danger - i.e. child welfare agencies.
And I'm not saying I agree with it, because I don't.
SJ -> Don't take offence she's only little. ;-p
ryan
"little"?
Thanks for the support Ryan.
: P
I think you need a vacation. Seriously. Have some fun, eat a few cookies, and have some fun!
I think a class would be nice! It could be a part of the health care system. They make books on raising children and no one is policing the people who buy them.
Psychology and counseling majors take courses on child & adolescent development. Why not have some of that information be available to parents in a class or an orientation session?
Grade schools offer orientation for parents and children entering kindergarten, and while kids get oriented to middle school and high school, the parents get left at home. There are parent teacher conferences, but it could be beneficial if there was a class, session, or presentation for parents to address issues facing their child's age group. But it seems this doesn't happen until college, and not everyone goes to college.
I don't think the point of class is to tell people how to raise their kids or to have licensure for kids. It's to educate-to help people make informed decisions.
That being said, I think Jones's is forgetting something with checking up on all families. Our government DOES have a program with people who do work like that for families who need it. They're called social workers.
People have a right to be a$$holes. We have a duty to report child abuse, and there are tricky steps in that process too. Do we lose hope? No.And some people shouldn't be parents. But they are.
The guy whose son died. I feel sad for him. So many parents think that if they do it at home, they'll make better decisions in college or when they move out. The death of his son is a terrible thing, and a hard life lesson. He could have benefitted from an orientation session for parents at the school. There he could have met other parents who have concerns about drugs, alcohol, sex, study habits, health, and career planning. It would broaden a social support system for parents struggling to make good choices.
Well, I think I may have reached my word limit for the day. :) Have a good one, and seriously, go out and have some fun, even if it's silly like mini-golf or something.
Stupid and irresponsible people shouldn't be allowed to breed, yet those are the traits that seem to make them much more prolific breeders...
Also, I'm pretty sure countries with overpopulation problems who have tried to number the limit of children per household are excellent examples of why that kind of enforcement never works.
This is the first google result for procreation licence! Hmmm...not so much discussion regarding whether there are objective facts that all prospective parents should be required to know.
If anybody is interested...I integrated the question of procreation licensing into a 10 topic Self-Ownership Survey. If you scroll down to the comments on an earlier version of the questions...If you don't own you...then who does?...you can find some discussion regarding whether it's possible to have an impartial exam on the subject of parenting.
Jen, hope you don't mind the links...of course you're welcome to link to this entry from either of those two entries that I linked to.
licence to procreate maybe not. follow up check ups on parents uuuuhhh no. i think that there needs to be a control on unprotected sexual activity ya sure accidents happen but there are a lot of people out there running the risk of pregnancy who shouldnt be. such as our teenage daughters or drug addicts that cant even take care of themselves or really anyone that cant take care of themselves (how do you expect them to take care of a baby? child? teenager?) ya sex police sounds outrageous but really so do dumpster babies or babies murdered cause the parent(s). its not fair to these children that live in this, what becomes of thier lives?
Anonymous
You make some good points... The problem is how do you prevent those individual's from having sex that results in pregnancy?
No one would argue that teenagers and drug addicts and even the consenting and should know better adult needs to refrain from unprotected unsafe sexual encounters. But aren't those the same individuals who also don't use good judgment when having sex? They don't think about what the end result or consequence can be, they just act in the moment.
I'm all for teaching people sexual responsibility. I'm all for preventing unwanted pregnancy. I'm even all for helping teach people how to be good parents...but there is no way to monitor or prevent others from sexual activity or being responsible if they do engage.
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