I admit its been a while since Ive been to church. So its quite possible things have changed a bit since my last visit. I was raised mostly by Southern Baptists who as a rule frown on any type of activity that might be considered fun. Which pretty much rules out everything except for the occasional fried chicken dinner. I do know that while I was going on a regular basis, I don't recall the subject of sex ever being discussed. Unless maybe it was in reference to one of the "Thou Shalt Nots"...or the random bible story. So imagine my surprise when I read an article about several churches across the country openly speaking to their congregants about sex. Not just speaking to them.....but encouraging open discussion about topics such as oral sex, full body massage and the joys of role play.
(These people obviously aren't Southern Baptists)
The clergy who are involved in opening up these discussions state that having a strong united faith as a couple isn't enough. That a good sexual connection is just as important to the health and strength of the marriage. So they are encouraging their congregations to not just have sex, but to have lots of it.
(Do I hear an amen on this one?)
These same church's further promote this type of open discussion by holding seminars about these topics, using biblical dialogue such as Genesis 2:24 which says "A man shall cleave unto his wife and they shall be of one flesh" to illustrate this thinking. With names for their seminars like The 30 Day Sex Challenge " or "The 40 Nights of Grrreat Sex" couples were given daily planners, where a typical week would be as follows:
"Sun: Worship together"
"Mon: Give your wife a full body massage"
"Tues: Quickie in any room besides the bedroom"
"Wed: Pleasure your partner"
"Thurs: Read 1 Corinthians 7 --How can I please you more?" ........... and so on and so on.
Now I'm not sure what to think about this new open thinking happening in church. I do agree that a couple needs to be on the same page with a lot of issues such as...money, faith, family and of course sex. And YES I completely agree that a strong and healthy intimate relationship makes a couple closer and maybe better able to relate to each other about the day to day issues.
But I'm not sure Id feel comfortable speaking to my minister about the most personal intimate details of my life....The thought of that talk just creeps me out. Of course that could be the Southern Baptist "anything fun is sinful" coming out in me. *grin*
Having said that, I have to say that had there been a few of these sorts of talks in church when I was going...it would have made all those hours of sitting on those hard wooden pews a little more bearable......
Throw in a little chocolate with that...and you wouldn't have been able to pry me out of church with a crowbar.
Can I get an Amen?
*smile*
8 comments:
I'm Southern Baptist, I love sex. And I'm in the minority of people who think sex should be encouraged among Christians. As a whole, we've been told "sex is dirty", "sex is bad", "it's wrong", etc. etc.
Bull$h!t!!!
One of God's first commandments was to "be fruitful and multiply". Ummm, he didn't mean gardening sweetheart. Have wild neked garden of eden sex is how I read that.
There are 66 books in the Bible. One whole book is devoted to sex, song Of Soloman and its a lusty book.
Sex is bad when we hide it or try to sanitize it to "procreation only" purposes - thanks Pope dude, you've screwed enough up already, I don't need you getting in my sex life. And you wear funny hats.
My step-daughter is 15 and is open with us about her sex life. And after she opened up we told her she could not have a sex life until she was 80. Actually, since we had an open dialog, it was easier to explain why she didn't need to have sex based on what the Bible said.
More churches should be open about risky topics and hold more town hall style meetings where people can ask questions. My fear is that many pastors are not equipped to relay what the Bible says on many topics.
My opinion ... OPINION ... if you and your wife agree on it in bed, have at it!
Knot/Edge/~Jef
knot
Ok so we have established you are not only Southern Baptist, but also enjoy the sins of the flesh and youre out of the closet about it. LOL thats good.
I realize there are many other Southern Baptists out there that are enjoying sex on a regular basis... That sort of stands to reason doesnt it since the south is hip deep in Baptists. They have to be coming from some where, right?
Im not saying Southern Baptists arent participating in sex..or enjoying doing so. What I am saying is that as a rule we arent taught that sex is an activity that should be embraced. Its more of a dont ask dont tell policy.
If indeed there is a God...and I believe there is. I dont think he would have made the sexual experience enjoyable if he didnt mean for us to particpate in it. And I do not feel that it was intended for procreation puposes only.
If that were the case there are many bilolgical organisms who are perfectly cabable of reproducing with out achieving an orgasm to do so. We could have been created like one of those.
But I do feel strongly that sex was not meant to stand alone. We often are too quick to put it first and then try and use it to build something meaningful or solid on it.
Intimacy needs to mean more and be more than the equivalent of a casual handshake. It should be a way of bonding two people. Making them stronger, closer and connected.
Its not one of the blocks to build a strong foundation...its the glue that helps hold those blocks together.
I've been told that it's is a normal part of life. In fact, beeing alone is boring as hell and I can tell you that.
1+1=2
but sometimes
1+1=1
Or it could be .
1+1=3
jean jacques
Youre right. Sometimes it is boring. But there are a lot worse things than being alone...Like being with the wrong person.
Ill wait. Maybe he'll find me.
HAHAHAHA!
(I have to laugh, but only because I haven't been here in a while and the topic I happen to come back on you happen to be talking about sex - what happened to politics?? LOL)
Yeah, there's nothing wrong with sex. God created it to be between one man and one woman within the confines of marriage, there's a book about it in the Bible, and many verses dotted throughout Scripture (I like Proverbs 5:18-19). I think churches that don't engage the subject are spiritually weak and immature - there should never really be a topic that isn't discussed. I know our church has talked about this topic at least once within the past 12 months.
I know the best form of education for abstinence I was ever given growing up was viewing a very graphic video on abortion. I nearly threw up it was that bad and I know my sister was in tears! While I don't condone fearmongering as a form of "sex education", I do admit that it was very effective.
ryan
Thats what you get for not stopping by to read more often...lol
I am aware that the bible does discuss sex in its contents. I am just saying that when growning up it wasnt a topic I got in church.
I also would feel slightly creepy speaking to my minister about it. Or for that matter sitting in a congreation where I know everyones grandma and mom and dad...and the thought of those people actually haveing sex....well there isnt enough therapy in ALL the world to fix that one.
: D
You should read Leviticus. It's full of sex and bondage. Somewhere around chapter 15 it talks about wearing leather... :)
scaramouche jones
I must be living a very sheltered life...Leather huh?
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